writing a happy ending...

  as a writer i see beginning as endings and endings as beginnings. i blur the line between black and white, light and dark, beginning and end, in order to challenge my readers.

  i have always believed with a pure blind faith that people read my blog. certain friends give me enough love in real life for me to write passionately, and without boundaries, that i know people are following my blog even if the google service tells me i only have 1 follower (thanks, Justin!). this is how it begins, with one. as long as there is one person following, others will follow. it is why it is important to always remember that you have friends in your life, and the best thing is to never forget to ask them for help when you are in a time of need.

  as i've been discussing, my life has been taking me through a lot of peaks and valleys, but i've learned how to manage them all. it's a bit like skiing, really. hold your breath through the valleys, but you must grab it where the air is the purest: where the snow resides, the top of the mountain. breathing is critical there, people, because the air is so thin you have to know how to breathe it in slowly. however, once you master your breathing it will help you to begin to see life in a most beautiful way.

  truthfully, that's my secret. i see the world in such a unique way, i am willing to believe anything. i give people the benefit of the doubt because i honestly do not believe in stupid or gullible people. when some say that, in my mind i hear that the person who thinks it is judging the person who is demonstrating such behavior. it pains me to hear negative judgements strewn as if the feelings of others do not matter. everyone looks down on somebody else when we should believe we are all on the same level: the level of love.

  love, love, love...

  i could think about love all day, if i didnt do so already. love is the purest form of love, and it is white hot and sticky, much like good sex. when i think of love i envision my self with two women and plenty of children, but enough money to be able to finance the whole endeavor.

  in the previous example, who were you? because i placed my self in the middle and was sure to consider every member who would revolve in my life: i was the sun in my universe. if we look at our selves as children (sun = sons/daughters), then it should follow that we are not afraid of this world. but if we attempt to see our selves as adults, we are attempting to assume a title most individuals dont know how to associate with. what is an adult? when do we become adults? and how come my entire life i have always felt most comfortable describing my self as a child in an adult body?

  a fully matured body, that is. and i have done a damn good job of getting my self back into shape in order to put my past to rest in order to start my new life, which is slowly on its way. every day i wake up i feel is the best day of the rest of my life. and since i dont believe in the concept of time, i have to find people who love me who will help to support me so i dont have to worry about it. unfortunately, for many time is money, and i refuse to see life on those terms.

  time is NOT money. money is NOT time. money is what people use to pay for things, and i if told you money was no longer going to exist, what would you end up doing with your time? that is the ultimate question to answer, because i have always written that i would continue loving the world, the same as i have always done and will continue to do forever and ever. because i died as a little boy, but i came back in order to make sure my mother ended up happy. but our entire lives she's been too afraid to let me go, because we have never discussed with whom my true happiness lies.

  lies, lies, lies...

  lies can be lies or they can be lays, depending on how you choose to spell it. freudian slip, my friends; a mere play on words if you will.

  for now i am waiting for the ghost writer to realize that i've been writing my life this entire time, and if they want to exist in it they must resign their power and understand that i will never wield it against them. i already love them more than i have ever been able to tell them. so, for now, my friends, i must finish tying up one more loose end which will hopefully lead directly to a polar shift. the proverbial end of my world as i know it, which will lead to a new world order... happiness at all times!

edwin