|\...living on the edge of the tenderloin.../|

|\...seems like everyone is worried about my living at the baldwin house hotel on 6th st on the outskirts of the tenderloin except me. i want to keep my computer so i can draft my players sunday for fantasy football and stay up to the week with my team, but i have a difficult decision to make.

  i know once i get over my initial fears of them robbing my apartment, i'll come to a logical conclusion, it just requires time. i'm leaning towards keeping it, because i'm gangsta enough to deal with the supposed hardasses who loiter the area. NO ONE has ever fucked with me, and i dont think my karma has it in store for someone to start with me now.

* i spent the afternoon airing out my apartment. seems like the previous resident didnt like to have the window open while chainsmoking cigarettes. going to clean the grimy place from top to bottom tomorrow with my mom before she heads back down to tijuana for some more dental work. poor mom, she cant catch a break right now, but i keep reminding her to take it slow and that things will progress one way or another.

  things come in cycles and i know that good things are coming my way, i just have to let them develop and then i'll be in a MUCH better place.

* i can feel the progress i made at "the avenues". i'm staying on my meds this time and will see what the court decides on the 21st of september, to see if they'll OFFICIALLY retire me after 3 years of dealing and learning to manage my bipolar diagnosis. i'm less in denial and more in belief that everything has happened for a reason. my attorneys continue to assure me that my case will be resolved in my favor one way or the other, and my doctor in sacramento even slipped that IF THE supreme court agrees to hear my case, then i'll be put before them. i know she didnt stutter, either. i'll keep you guys posted.

  in the meantime, i plan on scouring the city for all of the cool spots and even riding the muni to get out of the apartment. part of the reason why i want to keep my laptop is because it is such a tool for me to be able to entertain my self, even without internet. we'll see, it's not like it's an algebraic equation, ha ha ha.

* anyway, that is all for now, i thank those of you who have been following my blog and continue to provide me with pageviews. they mean a lot to me, even though they are so small in number. good to know i have "followers"/"fans" out there that support my little blog. one love!

edwin the penguin.../|

|\...further updates.../|

|\...so, i'm still at the house on the avenues, but my parents are out of town because my dad had a minor medical emergency which required attention and medical care in the states is a bitch. thankfully, we have a family friend in tijuana who can hopefully fix him right up, but i wont know how long they will be gone, so i've got to survive on the help of my cousin and my brother, rafael. i think i'll be all right, ha ha ha...

*  i'm both excited and nervous about the upcoming football season. i'm excited that alex smith has some legitimate weapons and will have fewer excuses for not being productive inside the red zone, but i'm also worried they're going to let us all down. this is natural.

  i'm also worried for new indianapolis colts quarterback andrew luck. i hope the kid finds his rhythm early and wins a couple of games to keep the franchise honest. i dont think anyone will think less of him if he struggles out of the gate, though, it's going to be hard to repeat the rookie campaign put up by cam newton, who incidentally took me to the fantasy football championship last year, but we'll see.

  if anything, i have a strong feeling robert griffin III might be the one to repeat the season cam newton put up last year, but we'll see. both rookies WILL be feeling the pressure every week to be good fast.

*  both my case manager through UCSF and the counselors at the avenues are working on getting me an emergency single room occupancy (SRO) in a hotel, but nothing has been secured yet. i'm confident that in the following week i will hear news not only about the SRO but about my disability, which i hope to be ample enough to survive on. i have no idea how much they're planning on giving me, but i have plans to survive on any amount and as usual i can count on the help of my family, so i'm going to be fine.

   it's just so weird to be moving in such a positive direction after going around in what seemed like negative circles for so long.

  i've also decided that i must stop smoking cannabis for the time being, of which will be a minimum of 6 months. i have too much on my plate and i dont want to ruin the progress i've made by falling back into a familiar pattern. i dont think this should be difficult, just as long as i'm committed to sobriety.

  beyond that, i dont have much to report. i'm feeling positive at the avenues and i have a strong faith that things will continue to get better for me as time passes.../|


edwin the penguin

|\...living la vida homeless…/|

|\...for those of you who dont know, my parents and i got into an argument late june which was unrelated to my last post about her. long story short, i spent 23 days in the hospital in sacramento grieving the loss of my uncle (RIP) and getting my head straight.

  fast forward to her birfday (july 26th) and we made our peace, or at least have begun to. she bought me some things i needed for my birfday, which was unfortunately spent in the hospital as well. i've since moved into a half-way house in the avenues and am waiting for them to figure out what they're going to do with me, but i'm firmly determined to lay my roots in THE city, and i think i'll be able to successfully accomplish this.

* for the record, i AM homeless, but i am receiving mail at two different addresses. i like where i'm staying now and today was the first day i was allowed to leave the house on my own without supervision. the other residents are nice and i'm trying to get my sleep schedule back on time.

  i dont know what else to add at the moment, but i wanted to take the time to check in with you guys to let you know i'm doing alright. the universe is taking care of me, like it always has, and i'm confident that in a short period of time i will make a shit load of progress. keep checking in for updates and thanks for reading.../|

edwin the penguin