|\...to nadiya kravets.../|

|\...i doubt you will ever read this, but here goes nothing...

* when we first met i was just a boy trapped in a man's body, with a girlfriend who loved me, but you didnt seem to mind. we became friends and i thought that someday you would deliver on the promise you made when i pushed for further intimacy.

  as usual, that promise was broken, but i'm not upset, nor am i here to discuss that. i just want to wish you farewell and to say what i need to say in a space that will allow me to do so. writing has always been a strong suit of mine and i'm trying to get back to it, because it is a form of therapy that helps me immensely.

* i sent you a message last night saying that you are and will always be the woman of my dreams and that i hope you find eternal happiness, but i doubt you'll respond. you have your usual 3 days to respond.

* i never knew one could love someone without ever having sex with them, but that's exactly what has happened to my heart. i love you, have always loved you, and will always continue to love you; i just cant help it. but once your three days are up, we are no longer friends, or acquaintances, or anything anymore.

  i realize you moved on with your life many moons ago, that you had a plan for your self this whole time and that you never had any intentions of breaking my heart. this all happened on its own and because i desired it (heartbreak). however, now i am a grown man and i must put away childish notions.

* so, to conclude, i too WILL move on and i will find someone who will appreciate all that i have to offer, especially my million dollar smile, which hasnt been the same since you left. either way, it doesnt matter anymore, because we stopped being friends a LONG time ago.

sincerely,

edwin the penguin.../|

|\...back from tijuana.../|

|\...and boy was it a good trip.

* i think my dad and i are going to be alright. i just have to remember that he's still reeling from the loss of his brother (may he rest in peace) and then we'll eventually have our heart-to-heart, man-to-man. dont ask me how this development came about, just know that the setting was perfect when the realization hit me. beautiful girls were everywhere, that's all i'll say, ha ha ha.

* being in mexico reminded me of being in el salvador (NOT the same thing, but play along) where all i do is speak spanish all day and am treated like a privileged guest. i dont get that sort of treatment here in the states, except when i visit specific friends, which are few and far between. i like it, though, because it shows who truly knows how to value a friendship. my new friend, anina, is one of those people, and even though she will probably never read this, i just wanted to give her a shout out, since there are people out there reading my blog and NOT commenting, ha ha ha. i guess that's part of being a voyeur, right?

* got my teeth cleaned, bought 2 pairs of shades, and some other things while in mexico and made out like a bandit, thanks to my mom. i got a little something-something i hope to take a photo in shortly and i'll upload it to my facebook account (www.facebook.com/edwin.coreas). it involves the giants and i'm very happy with my purchase.

* i just wanted to take time to scribble some things down, but i dont have much to say, other than could any of you who are reading my blog and popularizing it please comment on one of my entries one of these days. the hit counter doesnt make itself tick, ya know, ha ha ha.

anyway, time for bed, i'm tired, even though i didnt do any driving.

* oh yeah: FINALLY watched tron:legacy and thought it was good. it wasnt great, just good. i'd recommend it to a friend, but i wouldnt pay to watch it...

edwin the penguin.../|