sex, sex, sex...

  if you say sex three times in the mirror in a dark bathroom your wildest fantasy will come true. just be sure you didnt take a stinky shit before doing it.

  if you ask me...

  the main thing on every one's mind is sex. i even have an equation to prove it, but it requires time, which is relative, as einstein said. here's my attempt at sharing said formulae.

  recorded history starts with the story of Socrates and plato. i uppercase the S in Socrates because he was plato's teacher and has been proven to exist. subsequent philosophers have had a difficult time trying to answer the question of why they exist dually. i have my notions, but dont want to sound like a smart ass, so we'll move on.

  Socrates was considered the greatest thinker of his time, thus his place at the beginning of recorded history is secure. while some may argue in favor of the existence of societies much older than those of ancient greece, i remind you that i said "recorded history" and not prehistory or anything else. obviously, Socrates had to come from somewhere, but if he were alive, he'd ask you his most famous question: how do you know that?

  in the sciences, the most beloved thinker was Einstein. hence, any time a smart-ass comment is made people will usually resort to a levitous comment referencing him. i uppercase the E in Einstein because it is the second most important part of my equation (do you see where this is going...?). Einstein's most famous contribution was the theory of relativity, which is named as such because in order to prove it one must learn to expand ones mind to wrap our minds around time. for Einstein everything was relative, and he always had the same answer for "why?".

  i believe every thing is relative to one/us/you. your perception of every thing creates your reality, but it is also true we all share the same common ground, which is the world. however, it also follows that we all follow a typical thought process with typical ideas and typical behavior. none of this is intended to make you feel mundane, it is merely an attempt to help you to understand that in reality we're all equal regardless of our personal preferences or dislikes.

  i account this to human expression, which is culture, which in turn can be any thing you want it to be. some people are comfortable using their voice to speak their thoughts, some use it to write their thoughts, and some are quite abstract and feel their art (of their choosing) speaks for itself (experimental) enough for them to simply allow for their audience's input to finish the conversation.

  if you ask me, it all leads back to one thing: sex. sex is more than just the dirty thoughts we express crudely. sex is love manifested as the most basic form of communication two people can share. it is why they say no words are really necessary to connect with someone, and it is how wild animals communicate their intentions and desires in order to procreate their species. i believe we are no different from wild animals; we just believe our selves to be more "domesticated", which if we refer to Einstein is relative.

  the final part of this equation requires you, the reader, to assume the role of darkness as relative to the sun. the sun is the brightest star in the universe (dont begin talk of galaxies or i'll punk you. scientists create concepts to generate funding, so hogwash in any form is still hogwash) but even scientists know that there is more dark matter than there is light, so please follow.

  i say that you must assume the role of darkness because it is a reference to chess. in chess the white (light) pieces move first and the black (dark) pieces move second. this is done because it is assumed that light should have the chance to lead the dark, but in truth it is backwards. i believe that in chess it is always best to give up the first move, and that's how we arrive to the final piece of this puzzle.

  to create an X you have to assume starting on one of two lines, but if you look closer, you'll realize the lines can be seen as two v's stacked on their apexes (points, meaning one is on top of the other, reflecting in the middle) which leads us to a different tangent: the V sign, commonly used to express peace.

  when you make a V with two fingers you have to realize where they meet is in the middle of your hand, and each finger represents one half of your happiness. you can understand this as you please, just as long as the concept of unity between both fingers is expressed and made clear.

  if we remove one of the fingers of the V sign, we are left holding either a polite or rude gesture, depending on which finger you chose to lower. either way, this is fine, because both serve functions in our lives, with the middle finger being the most honest of the two. everyone always asks for a moment, a second - please - but it is actually easier to tell someone to fuck off when you want to be left alone. however, fuck off doesnt have to be a negative. it would be easier to understand if people werent raised to be so sensitive to the gesture.

  in the end, we're just holding up one finger and people have assigned an unnecessary amount of negatives to it that i believe make the middle finger misunderstood. this might be a joke, since i was raised as the middle child, even though i am the last child my mom had. she married my father when i was 6 and he had a son from a previous marriage who was 5 so he got to be the baby in the household.

  the middle is where they say everything meets, so i'll finish up this formula...

   fuck is just another word for sex, but it's been assigned a rude connotation, which is why it is both fun and dangerous to say in public. people hear it and their subconcious is reminded of their base desire they are having the most difficult time satisfying: sex. this is where stress comes into play, so i'll explain it.

  negative stress manifests itself in our bodies as fat, high blood pressure, nervousness, and a bevy of other forms which most doctors will not admit to, because they're scientists who are paid to make sense of the human body for everybody else. but, how did people survive before this profession became so revered? easy, people who know their bodies know that you dont need a doctor to tell you when something is wrong with you. when you know you just know. "how?" i know my body, that's how. "but you're not a doctor?" yeah, well, why should i pay someone to tell me something about my self i already know? why do doctors ask us questions about our symptoms and oftentimes their answer is to prescribe us medication? why does taking medication sound like you would just rather smoke weed instead to relax, if of course you were raised with the open mind that weed is a form of medicine, something which the federal government has already adopted, and which 13 state in our country have made legal. NOTE: smoke it or be quiet about your complaints, please?

  positive stress is what motivates you to get things done. when your mind is at ease, you can focus on your tasks and accomplish them with ease, but because we are usually raised under less than desirable circumstances, people hardly ever learn about positive stress. you can see examples of positive stress when you feel healthy and happy. that's how you're supposed to feel. warm and at ease with your self. NOTE: i am usually pretty warm, even in the coldest of weathers. but because i know that you lose heat primarily through your head (ears), hands, and feet, i try to keep these covered and dont usually mind the rest of my skin being exposed.

  this is why i always laugh when i see beautiful women out and about on a cold night and they look like their freezing. ladies: if you're going to carry a purse and have space, just carry a pair of gloves if you dont want to bring along a jacket. believe me, it sounds crazy, but you'll retain most of the heat you're losing and you'll thank me in later.

  the point: when we lower the middle finger we end up with a fist which is the strongest symbol one can express to another person without saying a word. a fist denotes confidence, but usually it denotes defense. people see a fist and immediately recognize that you dont want to be fucked with (pun intended). a fist can be a rock, which are usually used to defend ourselves from unwanted advances of all kinds, especially from people who are trying to sell us on things of which we have no particular interest.

  the rub...

  when you assume the role of silence and you wait for others to approach you, you are playing the chess game in life to it's best. people normally come up to us for a reason and when we ask the reason is usually the same: we seemed interesting enough to want to talk to. this is just a euphemism for "sex was on my mind when i saw you and i was wondering if you were interested in sharing it with me, assuming you're attracted to my gender?" writing/reading this sentence is much easier than saying it in person. people are afraid for their lives with the simple thought of asking it out loud, especially to someone for whom the question legitimately applies. yet, i always wonder why men and women equally approach me for my thoughts and ideas, yet few hardly ever get straight to the point, even when i can tell by the look in their eyes that i am absolutely right about my assumptions.

  the law of attraction is basically to ask. even Einstein could see the beauty in this revolutionary concept. if you are willing to ask someone openly for their time and help them to understand your underlying intentions, then it should follow that you should be able to ask them if they'd like to join you in some sexual exploration. this isnt for you to assume that people will accept your invitiation, it's just an entry level explanation of how people who have success satisfying their sexual appetite do it. when you're confident in asking others will feel confident in answering, but their answers will usually reveal their fears concerning their sexual identity and self. this always makes me sad, because the most honest answer one could offer, assuming the conversation has gotten good and interesting, is "not now, maybe later".

  yes, i know, you didnt even realize when i had completed the formula. but if you were paying attention i told you Einstein's idea was a theory and the proof is in a law, that is the law of attraction. attraction relates to any two things, be they people, atoms, animals, etc. energy is all around us and that is how we are attracted. it is usually said of highly successful people that they possess a very attractive energy which others desire to be around in hopes of acquiring some of it for themselves. this all boils down to feeling confident enough to ask for any thing you want; literally: any thing. when you are able to master the law of attraction, you can have anything, and Einstein would say that only you get to decide your level of success.

  i'm telling you to ask the next person you feel attracted to if they would like to have sex with you. i'm telling you not to be afraid and i'm trying to give you the explanation necessary now in order for you to feel comfortable asking later. just imagine that if you were a celebrity a lot of people would be lining up to offer you things you did not ask for. this is how i live my life: like i am the star of my own movie and every one i meet is a guest star. no one is above or below me, i give every one equal respect, but few my time. time is the constant none of us possess which is the most valuable, because when we lose time of it we usually are lost.

  if you want sex in your life, it will begin with you asking for it, because if you decide to wait for others to invite you, you might end up having to wait for a really long time, and that just seems unworth it. so ask yourself, when do you want to get laid? sooner or later, because once you decide, you'll be on your way.

  me? i'm staying celibate for now, until i hash out further theories and become more comfortable embracing my sexual side and prowess i didnt even know i had already mastered. dont believe me? how do you know i'm not? you and i havent had sex, and i can assure you the last person i had sex with isnt going to tell you when or how it was. ha ha ha, i got you, didnt i? i can openly hear you reading this out loud just to confirm that i've been honest this whole time.

  i told you, people, this blog is written with a purpose, and that purpose is to get people to have more sex. we're all too stressed out and honestly, orgasms are the best feeling in the world. every one is just comparing something to an orgasm, and i feel sad when i hear people, usually women, say they have never had an orgasm. how sad must one feel to refuse to explore ones own body to begin to understand the notion of sexual satisfaction? how much pain is one feeling who does not profess and accept self-love? to paraphrase woody allen said "dont knock masturbation; it's sex with someone i love."

  and in case you were wondering, i dont masturbate a lot, just enough to keep me calm and steady through life while i deliberate with regards to my next partner, of which there have been few in recent months. i like things to be this way for now, since...

  well, we already discussed her and i know she's not interested in me. she sent me an email saying so...

edwin