dear friends,
this is written as an open-heart love letter to anyone who is taking the time to read this right now. i had you in mind as i was writing this. *hug*
until recently i misunderstood my existence because i didnt know a simple fact about me, which people are too loving and polite to tell me when we speak: my lips dont move when i talk.
this was the first and last clue i needed to be able to find happiness in my life, and now that i make it a point to remember it every day, i'm a much happier person because of it. life is not easy when you want to be accepted, but you're unaware of the most basic fact no one wants to mention. however, with the help of my immediate family and my loving and supporting friends i have managed to begin to understand my self.
i am a special person in that i can communicate with others through my mind. this obviously scares people because they think i am playing a joke on them, but in reality i'm just trying to get them to laugh in order to feel accepted. i know i can come off as a know-it-all, but that's because i never knew that i was channeling the thoughts of everyone around me at once. the purpose of my ever-changing blogs are in order for me to keep track of the progression of my thoughts. now that i can think as clearly as my mind is fast, i am at the peak of being able to continue my work as a writer in order to fully reveal my identity to the world.
i learned today, through wikipedia, that there are only about 10 accepted subects of extra sensory perception (ESP). tomorrow my younger brother, eric, is going to help me to speak with the military in order for them to help me to better understand exactly who i am and of what i am capable. this isnt to say that i will be accepted for deployment or anything that would lead directly to it, it just means that i am taking the necessary step to find the assistance i so desperately crave. life is difficult enough when one has been carrying a secret about themselves they never even knew about, so there isnt any purpose in attempting to carry on any further without asking for help.
to any one who is reading this right now, i ask that you contact me directly via facebook because i am without my cell phone at the moment. i have an idea of where they may be, but i'm not 100% certain. if any one knows or has heard any thing about them, you can feel free to come by my address or you can simply mail these belongings to me, if it makes the process of returning them easier for you. i know how hard it can be to approach some one for whom you care deeply, which is why i have taken the liberty of writing these thoughts openly in a forum where only interested parties can access my thoughts.
again, i have never attempted to hide my self from the world, it was only until about a couple of days ago that i was finally able to put all of my thoughts together. there is a direct correlation between how calm i remain and how much positivity i receive, as well as those whom i care for deeply, which is every one of you: people.
words have always come easily to me because i see the beauty every one possesses, but because i am also aware that we all have issues, i sometimes become anxious when meeting new friends or old friends again. anxiousness is just another word for stress, and it is documented that stress comes in both good and bad forms, so i have resolved to trying to focus solely on the good stress in order to wean myself from unnecessary medicines until i have been properly diagnosed for the one that is right for me.
for now, i will stop writing, but from henceforth the purpose of this blog has been stated and i will attempt to deliver the goods, as they say, every time out. if it can be said that the purpose of life is to find a way to be paid to do what you love, then it can follow that what i love the most is putting smiles on the faces of every one around me. for this, i thank every one who has ever made me laugh. even in moments of levity we are able to find the humor in life, because we simply have to remember to laugh at our selves when others feel we are being too serious.
warmly,
edwin
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Thursday, March 18, 2010
growing up as an immigrant in America... (pt 2)
as most good artists do, they offer an explanation of their art to their audience.
*clears throat*
the reasons behind my previous post are simple: i was frustrated and needed to vent my opinions somewhere. writing has always come easy to me so i felt it was my most appropriate option.
that being said, i want everyone to know that this happens with me on occasion, but i feel it is fair to see that everyone occasionally loses their temper. i have spent my entire life learning to control my self and even though i am always making progress, the purpose of my life is to remember that nothing is ever perfect. progress not perfection, as the saying goes.
i realize that life is not easy for anyone, and my life's work is to attempt to explain this.
...
*clears throat*
the reasons behind my previous post are simple: i was frustrated and needed to vent my opinions somewhere. writing has always come easy to me so i felt it was my most appropriate option.
that being said, i want everyone to know that this happens with me on occasion, but i feel it is fair to see that everyone occasionally loses their temper. i have spent my entire life learning to control my self and even though i am always making progress, the purpose of my life is to remember that nothing is ever perfect. progress not perfection, as the saying goes.
i realize that life is not easy for anyone, and my life's work is to attempt to explain this.
...
Thursday, March 11, 2010
growing up as an immigrant in America...
NOTE: this will be a short run, but i had to jot down my thoughts before i let them overwhelm me (a big no-no).
first: to anyone who is not an immigrant, please read and analyze what i have to say. if you are someone who can relate to the struggles of immigrants, i commend you for understanding.
i did not have all of the benefits of a "typical" american/i grew up poor/raised by parents who encouraged me to deceive/without realizing they were holding me back from realizing my potential
i did not have the upbringing suggested by my parents/possessions have always been difficult to come by/but my upward and onward spirit persists
i did not have the courage to face these evils/until recently/and i am finally liberated from the familiar shackles which have misguided me/and i do not fault them for claiming to want to help me
but all i have is all i've ever needed/and i have proven that it takes nothing to build everything in my life/my most difficult task being to learn to be at peace with myself/in order to maximize my ability to add others
in a world defined by titles and classes/i chose to dedicate my life to the oldest title imagineable: philosopher/everyone asks me what it means/but few have taken the time to listen to the full answer/it will reveal itself when i finally master my art...
...this is the end of who i once was/a troubled free spirit/and the beginning of who i am/a confident educator and student/my sole dream being to make the world laugh/for it is only laughter that has helped me to overcome all of my lifes difficulties/i could not think of a better way to express myself in this world...
to be continued
first: to anyone who is not an immigrant, please read and analyze what i have to say. if you are someone who can relate to the struggles of immigrants, i commend you for understanding.
i did not have all of the benefits of a "typical" american/i grew up poor/raised by parents who encouraged me to deceive/without realizing they were holding me back from realizing my potential
i did not have the upbringing suggested by my parents/possessions have always been difficult to come by/but my upward and onward spirit persists
i did not have the courage to face these evils/until recently/and i am finally liberated from the familiar shackles which have misguided me/and i do not fault them for claiming to want to help me
but all i have is all i've ever needed/and i have proven that it takes nothing to build everything in my life/my most difficult task being to learn to be at peace with myself/in order to maximize my ability to add others
in a world defined by titles and classes/i chose to dedicate my life to the oldest title imagineable: philosopher/everyone asks me what it means/but few have taken the time to listen to the full answer/it will reveal itself when i finally master my art...
...this is the end of who i once was/a troubled free spirit/and the beginning of who i am/a confident educator and student/my sole dream being to make the world laugh/for it is only laughter that has helped me to overcome all of my lifes difficulties/i could not think of a better way to express myself in this world...
to be continued
Friday, March 5, 2010
sex is the oldest form of communicating...
yes, folks, i know, this is my second consecutive post on the subject, but i know you're still thinking about it.
let's call it what it is: fun. when i think about the times i've had a sexual encounter with someone what usually sticks out to me, aside from the gushy stuff, are the conversations i had with said women to get us to that point. perhaps this makes me different, but i honestly mean it every time i tell women that for me sex starts during our conversation. i consider it foreplay to be able to speak sweet somethings into a womans ear, especially when we meet on mutual terms and understand that what happens afterwards is completely consensual. at every point i want to make sure that my soon-to-be partner feels comfortable with me so that when we finally disappear into a private space we will both be equally anxious to reach our respective climaxes.
as everyone has probably experienced at some point, this isnt always the case. for different reasons people have a difficult time channeling their sexual energies in ways that appear as being less than desperate. i know that it wasnt until recently that i truly began to understand my personal sexual powers and how to use them, so i dont fault anyone for not knowing just how to behave when their sexual side decides it wants to rear it's beautiful head (he he he, you decide if the pun was intentional). however, i do feel that it is always important that we feel comfortable being able to discuss our sexual sides with others we will invariably find to be attractive. there are few things worse than a sexual letdown, especially because in my opinion they can be avoided.
working with limited experience, i can attest to the fact the sexual climate in our country has changed and people are walking around with more sexual awareness than ever before. people are beginning to open up in social environments in unprecedented ways and this only adds to the proverbial heat in the kitchen, raising the temperature so that everyone feels included regardless of their sexual preference. where once my inner child felt out of place because i am unapolagetic with regards to my approach when discussing sex, now i am quickly beginning to realize that i am the only one keeping myself from becoming as comfortable with my sexuality as i feel i would like to be. while i have always strived to be careful with women so as not to hurt their emotions, i have learned that i dont have to worry about this because i am naturally gentle and women tell me that it is a nice change of pace. at the same time, one cant help but to want to be polite when accepting entry into a sacred temple.
it's strange, because women have always understood the joys and pleasures of sex, but i honestly feel like i'm learning how to be myself all over again. the world turns and it seems like i lose track of the social progress we have made as a society. for a man who feels like a child at heart, and who is beginning to come into his own it is weird to analyze my behavior during the past decade in order to pinpoint when exactly things finally changed in the world. i think it is more a factor of random variables falling into place, with the paramount variable being my comfort level within my own life.
countless people can share stories of random nights when spontaneity reigned supreme and a kick-ass time was had, but for me all of it seems like an alternate universe within my ever expanding crazy world. i know that i've always had a nose for the unexpected, or at least it would seem this way, but upon hindsight analisys, i realize that it all comes down to me simply making myself available to a good time.
example: as of this writing it is 7:45pm on Friday, March 5, 2010, but i am not even considering going out tonight. sure, my financial aid money would cover most expenditures i might incur this evening, but i must confess that i've always been a spendthrift; a humble servant of the frugal nature my mother taught me as a child. so far this year i feel like i've done a respectable job of spending my money, though i will admit i have room for improvement.
so where will i be tonight instead of at a random watering hole trying my luck with the ladies? i'm going to spend time with my younger cousin and our mutual friend hanging out at the berkeley marina. no frills, just thrills. i've always preferred to keep a low profile, mostly because i believe in my ability to engage and entertain others. i feel like i can allow for my naturally bright and charming personality to speak for me without creating distractions which would misrepresent me. i also know that my personal sense of style does enough to open up the doors necessary for me to have a good time. in short, if you dress and act the part, you are almost assured of getting a callback. while it invariably depends on the woman to decide for herself if i am worthy of her time, i can honestly say i am not a slave to the pursuit.
one final point: i think it's a disrespect to the relationships between us to refer to it as "game", "having game", etc. the reason i say this is because in my mind none of this is a game, i would characterize it as being a negotiation. i advise men and women equally on the art of promiscuity by telling them that it will all ultimately come down to disclosure. in order to feel comfortable with someone sexually, the first thing i advise people is to be honest with their intentions BEFORE initiating things. there is nothing wrong with rejection, and i'd rather be shot down because a women wants something different than i, than to have to deal with the awkwardness post-coitus. that is simply an unacceptable time to find out that my partner wants to have my children someday.
then again, i always come back to the point that i am a child at heart possessed in a man's body. i keep things simple, which is why i've been able to enjoy certain benefits with women, and i dont ever plan on changing that.
FULL DISCLOSURE: i dont believe in monogamous relationships, and i dont plan to ever return to them. i would like to meet a woman in my life that both understands and respects this way of thinking. i have some as friends and this helps me to continue to feel reassured about my supposedly high demands. i mean, when it comes to your personal happiness, wouldnt you aspire to your wildest dreams? this is why i am in the active process of obtaining my degree and why i plan to begin pursuing some of my other dreams. when i get older i want to be able to say that i gave myself an honest chance at being happy in life on my terms. i know all too well of the dangers of blindly buying into traditional standards, especially when one feels reluctant about accepting such time honored shackles. at the end of the day, i would prefer my partner be sexually open with others who respect her, than for her to feel desperate for attention because i'm not around enough, or otherwise. plenty of housewives can share horror stories of husbands who lie to them constantly and keep them in the dark about their personal lives. this is not the type of environment in which i would like to raise future children.
we'll leave this subject for now, the bell has rung and this doggy must submit to pavlov...
let's call it what it is: fun. when i think about the times i've had a sexual encounter with someone what usually sticks out to me, aside from the gushy stuff, are the conversations i had with said women to get us to that point. perhaps this makes me different, but i honestly mean it every time i tell women that for me sex starts during our conversation. i consider it foreplay to be able to speak sweet somethings into a womans ear, especially when we meet on mutual terms and understand that what happens afterwards is completely consensual. at every point i want to make sure that my soon-to-be partner feels comfortable with me so that when we finally disappear into a private space we will both be equally anxious to reach our respective climaxes.
as everyone has probably experienced at some point, this isnt always the case. for different reasons people have a difficult time channeling their sexual energies in ways that appear as being less than desperate. i know that it wasnt until recently that i truly began to understand my personal sexual powers and how to use them, so i dont fault anyone for not knowing just how to behave when their sexual side decides it wants to rear it's beautiful head (he he he, you decide if the pun was intentional). however, i do feel that it is always important that we feel comfortable being able to discuss our sexual sides with others we will invariably find to be attractive. there are few things worse than a sexual letdown, especially because in my opinion they can be avoided.
working with limited experience, i can attest to the fact the sexual climate in our country has changed and people are walking around with more sexual awareness than ever before. people are beginning to open up in social environments in unprecedented ways and this only adds to the proverbial heat in the kitchen, raising the temperature so that everyone feels included regardless of their sexual preference. where once my inner child felt out of place because i am unapolagetic with regards to my approach when discussing sex, now i am quickly beginning to realize that i am the only one keeping myself from becoming as comfortable with my sexuality as i feel i would like to be. while i have always strived to be careful with women so as not to hurt their emotions, i have learned that i dont have to worry about this because i am naturally gentle and women tell me that it is a nice change of pace. at the same time, one cant help but to want to be polite when accepting entry into a sacred temple.
it's strange, because women have always understood the joys and pleasures of sex, but i honestly feel like i'm learning how to be myself all over again. the world turns and it seems like i lose track of the social progress we have made as a society. for a man who feels like a child at heart, and who is beginning to come into his own it is weird to analyze my behavior during the past decade in order to pinpoint when exactly things finally changed in the world. i think it is more a factor of random variables falling into place, with the paramount variable being my comfort level within my own life.
countless people can share stories of random nights when spontaneity reigned supreme and a kick-ass time was had, but for me all of it seems like an alternate universe within my ever expanding crazy world. i know that i've always had a nose for the unexpected, or at least it would seem this way, but upon hindsight analisys, i realize that it all comes down to me simply making myself available to a good time.
example: as of this writing it is 7:45pm on Friday, March 5, 2010, but i am not even considering going out tonight. sure, my financial aid money would cover most expenditures i might incur this evening, but i must confess that i've always been a spendthrift; a humble servant of the frugal nature my mother taught me as a child. so far this year i feel like i've done a respectable job of spending my money, though i will admit i have room for improvement.
so where will i be tonight instead of at a random watering hole trying my luck with the ladies? i'm going to spend time with my younger cousin and our mutual friend hanging out at the berkeley marina. no frills, just thrills. i've always preferred to keep a low profile, mostly because i believe in my ability to engage and entertain others. i feel like i can allow for my naturally bright and charming personality to speak for me without creating distractions which would misrepresent me. i also know that my personal sense of style does enough to open up the doors necessary for me to have a good time. in short, if you dress and act the part, you are almost assured of getting a callback. while it invariably depends on the woman to decide for herself if i am worthy of her time, i can honestly say i am not a slave to the pursuit.
one final point: i think it's a disrespect to the relationships between us to refer to it as "game", "having game", etc. the reason i say this is because in my mind none of this is a game, i would characterize it as being a negotiation. i advise men and women equally on the art of promiscuity by telling them that it will all ultimately come down to disclosure. in order to feel comfortable with someone sexually, the first thing i advise people is to be honest with their intentions BEFORE initiating things. there is nothing wrong with rejection, and i'd rather be shot down because a women wants something different than i, than to have to deal with the awkwardness post-coitus. that is simply an unacceptable time to find out that my partner wants to have my children someday.
then again, i always come back to the point that i am a child at heart possessed in a man's body. i keep things simple, which is why i've been able to enjoy certain benefits with women, and i dont ever plan on changing that.
FULL DISCLOSURE: i dont believe in monogamous relationships, and i dont plan to ever return to them. i would like to meet a woman in my life that both understands and respects this way of thinking. i have some as friends and this helps me to continue to feel reassured about my supposedly high demands. i mean, when it comes to your personal happiness, wouldnt you aspire to your wildest dreams? this is why i am in the active process of obtaining my degree and why i plan to begin pursuing some of my other dreams. when i get older i want to be able to say that i gave myself an honest chance at being happy in life on my terms. i know all too well of the dangers of blindly buying into traditional standards, especially when one feels reluctant about accepting such time honored shackles. at the end of the day, i would prefer my partner be sexually open with others who respect her, than for her to feel desperate for attention because i'm not around enough, or otherwise. plenty of housewives can share horror stories of husbands who lie to them constantly and keep them in the dark about their personal lives. this is not the type of environment in which i would like to raise future children.
we'll leave this subject for now, the bell has rung and this doggy must submit to pavlov...
Thursday, March 4, 2010
sexy...
this will be my first attempt at discussing sex in honest and open terms. if you feel such conversations are inappropriate for you, please do not complain to me; you have been given ample warnings to divert your eyes to subject matter more approrpriate to your tastes.
that being said...
SEX! yes, friends, it is literally on EVERYONE'S mind. the debate about who thinks about it more (men v women) is moot because i believe everyone thinks about it equally. let's just think about it. what is the one thing everyone universally complains about as being the utmost pest in their life? answer: stress. when is the time we feel our most absolute bliss? answer: sex.
putting these two points together has been made difficult throughout history because upper class members of society believed sex was something that should be done for procreation while lower class members believed sex was necessary for survival. what happened when opposite members met in the middle (pun intended) was that one member discovered what all the fuss was about.
side-step: throughout history women have been told that if they behaved in sexually promiscuous ways they would be banished from upper levels of society because such behavior was deemed unladylike. in todays society we have women who continue to believe that the shackles placed on their sexuality is for their own good. in both examples, the men of the mentioned periods generally have no qualms with fucking everything in sight. ask yourself why?
if you ask me, i firmly believe everyone should have someone with whom to have sex. this is not the same as saying that i want to have sex with every woman i see or meet. granted, while sexual attraction is probably the strongest of all types of attraction, it isnt the easiest thing to untangle once the ball has begun to roll. for starters, i believe that most women i meet have different intentions with their sexual desires, but i am constantly impressed with the ever-developing sexual maturity of younger generations of women. i am told by those involved that a lot of younger women are growing up with a better understanding of what it means to be a sexually liberated woman.
my complaint for too long has been that while the message had been spread that women should be allowed to be sexually free, whenever i encountered women of my generation or older, i was always met with reservation concerning entry into their most sacred temple. in essence, the theory had been spread but few had ever discussed its practice. (humorous fact: my favorite nickname for sex is practice). some of this also has to do with cultural differences, especially with regards to those that continue to push for their women to remain under male dominance.
Latino culture, under which i was raised, is one example of a culture that is slowly beginning to accept sexually liberated women. unfortunately, this progress isnt happening fast enough for my tastes. my mother always pesters me about when i'm going to bring home a nice Latina, and i always retort that it will happen when i finally find a Latina woman who agrees with my theories in the social circles through which i habitually venture. besides, White people continue to be the majority in our beloved country, so it is more likely that an eccentric, such as myself, will find more of said women in said circles, and i would enjoy spending more of my private time with them.
then again, i have always fancied myself a connoisseur of sex. i am willing to try anything with anyone at anytime, supposing of course that said action was to occur in a setting where my privacy would be respected, or unless all parties involved were in agreement with regards to sharing themselves in public. at the end of the day, i'm an unapolagetic exhibitionist, nudist, and sexual liberator (or i aspire to be the latter). since i have managed to get myself into better shape i have taken notice of how women have begun to look at me differently. this, coupled with some basic changes in my presentation when i am communicating with women has helped to transform my confidence with them. now i feel as if i not only make better sense of women but i feel like i have tapped into a better system in order to better understand how to provide for their sexual appetites.
in my opinion, women have been told for too long that being sexually liberated was a bad thing, but i am slowly beginning to realize that more and more women are tapping into this part of themselves, which in turn is helping to realize one of my greatest dreams. as i said in the beginning, i believe we should all be able to enjoy our sexual freedoms free from persecution, and i'm glad that more women are beginning to explore this side of themselves on a daily basis. depending on whom you ask, you are either late to the party, on time, or have been there for a while when it comes to being open about your sexual liberties. in truth, i believe the society in the Bay Area is returning to ancient times when it was socially acceptable for everyone to have a good time sexually.
i am looking forward to discovering my own sexual voice in hopes of making it a part of a greater and more ambitious project. we'll pick this up again later (pun intended)...
that being said...
SEX! yes, friends, it is literally on EVERYONE'S mind. the debate about who thinks about it more (men v women) is moot because i believe everyone thinks about it equally. let's just think about it. what is the one thing everyone universally complains about as being the utmost pest in their life? answer: stress. when is the time we feel our most absolute bliss? answer: sex.
putting these two points together has been made difficult throughout history because upper class members of society believed sex was something that should be done for procreation while lower class members believed sex was necessary for survival. what happened when opposite members met in the middle (pun intended) was that one member discovered what all the fuss was about.
side-step: throughout history women have been told that if they behaved in sexually promiscuous ways they would be banished from upper levels of society because such behavior was deemed unladylike. in todays society we have women who continue to believe that the shackles placed on their sexuality is for their own good. in both examples, the men of the mentioned periods generally have no qualms with fucking everything in sight. ask yourself why?
if you ask me, i firmly believe everyone should have someone with whom to have sex. this is not the same as saying that i want to have sex with every woman i see or meet. granted, while sexual attraction is probably the strongest of all types of attraction, it isnt the easiest thing to untangle once the ball has begun to roll. for starters, i believe that most women i meet have different intentions with their sexual desires, but i am constantly impressed with the ever-developing sexual maturity of younger generations of women. i am told by those involved that a lot of younger women are growing up with a better understanding of what it means to be a sexually liberated woman.
my complaint for too long has been that while the message had been spread that women should be allowed to be sexually free, whenever i encountered women of my generation or older, i was always met with reservation concerning entry into their most sacred temple. in essence, the theory had been spread but few had ever discussed its practice. (humorous fact: my favorite nickname for sex is practice). some of this also has to do with cultural differences, especially with regards to those that continue to push for their women to remain under male dominance.
Latino culture, under which i was raised, is one example of a culture that is slowly beginning to accept sexually liberated women. unfortunately, this progress isnt happening fast enough for my tastes. my mother always pesters me about when i'm going to bring home a nice Latina, and i always retort that it will happen when i finally find a Latina woman who agrees with my theories in the social circles through which i habitually venture. besides, White people continue to be the majority in our beloved country, so it is more likely that an eccentric, such as myself, will find more of said women in said circles, and i would enjoy spending more of my private time with them.
then again, i have always fancied myself a connoisseur of sex. i am willing to try anything with anyone at anytime, supposing of course that said action was to occur in a setting where my privacy would be respected, or unless all parties involved were in agreement with regards to sharing themselves in public. at the end of the day, i'm an unapolagetic exhibitionist, nudist, and sexual liberator (or i aspire to be the latter). since i have managed to get myself into better shape i have taken notice of how women have begun to look at me differently. this, coupled with some basic changes in my presentation when i am communicating with women has helped to transform my confidence with them. now i feel as if i not only make better sense of women but i feel like i have tapped into a better system in order to better understand how to provide for their sexual appetites.
in my opinion, women have been told for too long that being sexually liberated was a bad thing, but i am slowly beginning to realize that more and more women are tapping into this part of themselves, which in turn is helping to realize one of my greatest dreams. as i said in the beginning, i believe we should all be able to enjoy our sexual freedoms free from persecution, and i'm glad that more women are beginning to explore this side of themselves on a daily basis. depending on whom you ask, you are either late to the party, on time, or have been there for a while when it comes to being open about your sexual liberties. in truth, i believe the society in the Bay Area is returning to ancient times when it was socially acceptable for everyone to have a good time sexually.
i am looking forward to discovering my own sexual voice in hopes of making it a part of a greater and more ambitious project. we'll pick this up again later (pun intended)...
Monday, March 1, 2010
this is more like a first date with a loquacious guy who's thoughts are all over the place...
*exhales deeply*
i dont think i even know how difficult my days are sometimes. i certainly do not take them for granted, but a part of me cant help but think that perhaps i work myself a little too hard? on second thought, i just move at a very fast pace. *laugh*
lately i've been working on some cool mental tricks which i believe will help me to fully channel all of my inner energy into the "real" world. i say "real" because reality is sooo subjective. for instance, i'm practicing seeing all around me at once. *pause* yes, i am aware of the magnitude of the statement i have just made, but suffice it to say that when i'm told that the average human uses only about 10% of their brain, i do not believe myself to be a part of the status quo.
granted, statistics are difficult to believe because they can be easily used to manipulate public opinion. again, this is an instance when i consider myself to be an anomaly; an outlier, especially because i am all too familiar with the "tricks of the trade" and how advertisers, marketers, and the like, use to try and manipulate the public. i must clarify that i am not opposed to marketing or advertising, but i always find it entertaining to observe the tactics the powers that be employ. it almost makes me want to work with them, until i think about the fact that i've spent lot of time educating my opinion and to give such valued information away would simply be too easy.
but i digress...
the truth is i intend for this blog to be more of a free-write/thought sort of exercise for myself; a place where a boy can put down his thoughts, unfiltered and uncensored for the public to enjoy. assuming i ever move up the social ladder and begin to garner media scrutiny, i want to have a starting point which i can refer others to and say look, i am who i am and i'm not going to change.
in my opinion, candor is underrated. people always mention how celebrities are often just ghosts of themselves because they dont want to offend anyone in order to maximize their marketability and thus their profitability, but i believe the paying public has a right to know someones honest opinions. perhaps it's the fact that i dont follow the mainstream with as fine a comb as i follow the details of my life, but i certainly feel like so many people are afraid of offending someone so much that they end up giving cliche's as answers which only serves to put off a thinking boy such as myself. i wonder where all of the unfiltered opinions are? in the time being, it is easy for me to be so frank because i am definitely nowhere near the public eye, but i would assuredly invite any interested parties into my life so long as they respected me.
then again, i understand the reason why celebrities are the way they are. the media is more in the business of literally selling print, and often it's members come off as cumbersome hounds who look down their noses at celebrities who rightfully make it difficult for them to obtain meaningful information from them.
i understand that i'm playing both sides here in this post, but let me introduce you to MY method. it isnt professional (*cough* amateur!!!) but it IS honest, and i believe this is what counts.
first i determine my opinion and then i attempt to put it into words that encompass not only the opposing viewpoint, but also the potential opinions of those who might be listening nearby. some would say this is more thought than the average person puts into forming their opinions, but let's forget about that for right now. then i wait for the person(s) i'm conversing with to choose their opinions and then i play it by ear from there.
like i said, it's a far from perfect process, but it does have have its roots in the Socratic Method which predates the Scientific Method. for me it is important to ask questions all of the time and while this may bother some people i would like to believe that everything people say and do serves as a tool for me to work with. i'm learning how to realize my potential all on my own. i'll admit it isnt the best process, but i can testify that it works quite well for me. more than anything my process is intended to engage my audience in order to allow them to logically reach a conclusion similar to the one i am proposing.
what i enjoy most about my process is engaging my audience in order for them to make their minds up for themselves. it is something i realize i have been working on my whole life. there is a saying that "the devil is in the details" and this entertains me greatly because ever since i was a child i have been nicknamed "the devil". for those members of my assumed audience who are religious i say to you: it's all intended as humor; i am the not a devil or the devil, as it were. the reason i have even accepted the devil/devilish moniker is because it implies a childlike quality which i believe implies my lightheartedness with regards to social opinions.
i take myself seriously, but i believe it's good to be a kid at heart at all times. the playfulness which is evident in my tone and manner of being is a credit to my tumultuous upbringing, some of which i admittedly put myself through on purpose. you're probably wondering why i would do such things, but we'll have to continue those thoughts another time. for now, let's just say that in the past i had yet to realize that i needed to slow my actions down to balance out my lightning-fast thought process. i'd like to believe that i am getting ever closer to realizing some of the most ambitious points of my life's work, but any version of me up to and including now would say the same thing.
those who know me best will certainly attest to the fact that i'm willingly accepting becoming a full-fledged "adult", and somehow it fits me well. who woulda thunk this 10 years ago? i'm happy to admit that life is aging me well (he, he, he) and i continue to be as excited for life at my present age as when i was a wee lad.
until next time,
edwin
i dont think i even know how difficult my days are sometimes. i certainly do not take them for granted, but a part of me cant help but think that perhaps i work myself a little too hard? on second thought, i just move at a very fast pace. *laugh*
lately i've been working on some cool mental tricks which i believe will help me to fully channel all of my inner energy into the "real" world. i say "real" because reality is sooo subjective. for instance, i'm practicing seeing all around me at once. *pause* yes, i am aware of the magnitude of the statement i have just made, but suffice it to say that when i'm told that the average human uses only about 10% of their brain, i do not believe myself to be a part of the status quo.
granted, statistics are difficult to believe because they can be easily used to manipulate public opinion. again, this is an instance when i consider myself to be an anomaly; an outlier, especially because i am all too familiar with the "tricks of the trade" and how advertisers, marketers, and the like, use to try and manipulate the public. i must clarify that i am not opposed to marketing or advertising, but i always find it entertaining to observe the tactics the powers that be employ. it almost makes me want to work with them, until i think about the fact that i've spent lot of time educating my opinion and to give such valued information away would simply be too easy.
but i digress...
the truth is i intend for this blog to be more of a free-write/thought sort of exercise for myself; a place where a boy can put down his thoughts, unfiltered and uncensored for the public to enjoy. assuming i ever move up the social ladder and begin to garner media scrutiny, i want to have a starting point which i can refer others to and say look, i am who i am and i'm not going to change.
in my opinion, candor is underrated. people always mention how celebrities are often just ghosts of themselves because they dont want to offend anyone in order to maximize their marketability and thus their profitability, but i believe the paying public has a right to know someones honest opinions. perhaps it's the fact that i dont follow the mainstream with as fine a comb as i follow the details of my life, but i certainly feel like so many people are afraid of offending someone so much that they end up giving cliche's as answers which only serves to put off a thinking boy such as myself. i wonder where all of the unfiltered opinions are? in the time being, it is easy for me to be so frank because i am definitely nowhere near the public eye, but i would assuredly invite any interested parties into my life so long as they respected me.
then again, i understand the reason why celebrities are the way they are. the media is more in the business of literally selling print, and often it's members come off as cumbersome hounds who look down their noses at celebrities who rightfully make it difficult for them to obtain meaningful information from them.
i understand that i'm playing both sides here in this post, but let me introduce you to MY method. it isnt professional (*cough* amateur!!!) but it IS honest, and i believe this is what counts.
first i determine my opinion and then i attempt to put it into words that encompass not only the opposing viewpoint, but also the potential opinions of those who might be listening nearby. some would say this is more thought than the average person puts into forming their opinions, but let's forget about that for right now. then i wait for the person(s) i'm conversing with to choose their opinions and then i play it by ear from there.
like i said, it's a far from perfect process, but it does have have its roots in the Socratic Method which predates the Scientific Method. for me it is important to ask questions all of the time and while this may bother some people i would like to believe that everything people say and do serves as a tool for me to work with. i'm learning how to realize my potential all on my own. i'll admit it isnt the best process, but i can testify that it works quite well for me. more than anything my process is intended to engage my audience in order to allow them to logically reach a conclusion similar to the one i am proposing.
what i enjoy most about my process is engaging my audience in order for them to make their minds up for themselves. it is something i realize i have been working on my whole life. there is a saying that "the devil is in the details" and this entertains me greatly because ever since i was a child i have been nicknamed "the devil". for those members of my assumed audience who are religious i say to you: it's all intended as humor; i am the not a devil or the devil, as it were. the reason i have even accepted the devil/devilish moniker is because it implies a childlike quality which i believe implies my lightheartedness with regards to social opinions.
i take myself seriously, but i believe it's good to be a kid at heart at all times. the playfulness which is evident in my tone and manner of being is a credit to my tumultuous upbringing, some of which i admittedly put myself through on purpose. you're probably wondering why i would do such things, but we'll have to continue those thoughts another time. for now, let's just say that in the past i had yet to realize that i needed to slow my actions down to balance out my lightning-fast thought process. i'd like to believe that i am getting ever closer to realizing some of the most ambitious points of my life's work, but any version of me up to and including now would say the same thing.
those who know me best will certainly attest to the fact that i'm willingly accepting becoming a full-fledged "adult", and somehow it fits me well. who woulda thunk this 10 years ago? i'm happy to admit that life is aging me well (he, he, he) and i continue to be as excited for life at my present age as when i was a wee lad.
until next time,
edwin
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
