honey is sweet because it drips slowly...

  in life, you have to know how to be patient. this reminds me of honey, because it looks golden, tastes sweet, and it goes well with everything; kind of like love.

  there are a million things they say about love, and all of them are true. love is the best feeling in the world, and sometimes i forget that. love is patient, which is more specifically what i forget. love is something which cannot be rushed, and when we're paying attention, we will have all of the details ready and confirmed for us by the one(s) we want to confirm them. however, too often i find my self rushing a good thing, and last night i had an episode of a tizzy where i almost lost every thing i've been working so hard to acquire.

  i now realize that it is probably because i did not take my medication (green) for which i have yet to acquire a prescription. it would probably be in my best interest to research the new health care system in order to find out if i can acquire it free of charge? it would probably be best for me to remember to eat fruits and veggies throughout the day? it would probably be preferable to others if i learned to truly become a zen master, as in i should practice being patient when i'm supposed to be anticipating my happiness, as opposed to constantly asking for things to be done faster. i get that every body has patience issues, so pretending as if i'm the ultimate zen master isnt going to cut it. this is hard to distinguish, because i usually am very calm, but i have a hard time admitting to my self when i am losing my grip on reality.

  ESP or NO ESP(N?) i must practice listening to people on THEIR terms, asking them questions about THEIR selves, and then being patient enough to wait for them to answer on THEIR own time. three things must happen, and the first is for me to ask, wait, and then be patient enough that the response will be provided. there is no need to rush, the speed will be determined by MY ability to be straightforward and then patient.

  i think a great deal of my trouble comes from my anxiousness issues, which lead me straight back to my medication, for which i must obtain a prescription if i am going to be able to take it in the company of my family. they have been more loving and supportive of me throughout recent weeks than i have let on, and i wanted to let every body reading that i love them very much. but even this is a joke intended to make you laugh, because if you are reading then you are included in my family. it takes courage and gumption for me to write my life down, but it takes conviction for all of you to read and especially to believe.

  belief is a powerful thing. my belief in my self drives me to an almost obsessive state, which if i am not careful leads directly to others being rubbed the wrong way by me. this is hardly my intention, but as they say, which i abhor, "perception is reality". i say i abhor it because i often feel people judge my perception without taking the time necessary to evaluate how our views are different. here's my take: i never lie. honestly, i actually hate lying. you might retort "but isnt hate a strong word?" and i'd reply no it's the appropriate word. if it can be said that i love truth and honesty, then it should follow that i can say i hate lying. love and hate are a balance, and i think we should only hate things which undo the balance of what we love. lying does this. one lie can ruin every thing. just one; no more, no less. the absence of all lies removes doubt, and doubt is just as powerful as hope. just remember that we are talking about belief, and this can be translated to any thing, but it's mostly about belief in one's self.

  my homeboy, mike nielsen (shout out to my boy!), gave me a citizen cope CD (the clarence greenwood recordings) at his mother's house a couple of months ago, and since i had left it there, his mom, pj nielsen (i love her like my own mother), was kind enough to forward it to me. on my way up to humboldt county on monday, to help a friend run an errand (jen, i'm sorry if you feel i misled you, it wasnt my intention, but i really do love you, just as a friend. i think garrett feels the same way, babe, so dont resent him for loving you; we all do), i took the time to listen to it and stumbled upon a gem.

  the name of the song is "pablo picasso" by citizen cope (excuse my redunancy, please), and i shall include the lyrics and a video below (assuming i do things right). i find the music and lyrics to be a haunting combination, especially with regards to my belief in the power of love, or at least my perception of how i would like love to manifest itself in my life. i have always envisioned my self married to a movie star; we have children and i'm so in love with her i am unwilling to see that it is all really just a painting i created. the beauty in pablo picasso's art was it's simplicity, which many children described as child-like. so, it makes sense to me that mr greenwood should name this timeless love song after an artist who was the most misunderstood in the art world, in my humble opinion.

  then again, which artist doesnt feel misunderstood? which artist doesnt feel as if people are just not taking the time to understand them? the greatest artists are the ones who never worried about the interpretation of their art; they challenged others to question their own perceptions. this is why i have chosen the "devilish philosopher" moniker. because i will appear to be the devil until you realize i am -ish, like jews are jew-ish. it's a joke intended to make you laugh! but i am, and will always be, a philosopher; a member of the oldest profession in the world, which depending on you translate it, it will always be right (get it?.

  without further ado, i present to you the song which has been stuck on repeat in my head. i just want to thank the two women i consider to be the most beautiful in the world: i believe they know who they are *wink*

 

 Pablo Picasso lyrics
Songwriters: Greenwood, Clarence;

 The woman that I love is forty feet tall
She's a movie star, she's all in the papers
And everywhere I go, people hand me quarters
And they pat me on the back, they treat me like I'm famous

I'll never leave her side, 'cause today can be dangerous
And when the night arrives the light hit her features
And the cars drive by just so they could see her
And she never bats an eye, when someone takes her picture

Mr.Officer, if you come to take her
Then that means one of us
Gonna end up in a stretcher
Say Mr.Officer, if you come to take her
Then that means one of us
Gonna end up in a stretcher say
(Gonna end up in the papers)
(Gonna end up in the papers, yeah)

If I had a pistol, I'd brandish it and wave it
She's the only one alive that knows that I'm not crazy
She's gonna testify on my behalf down at the navy
So I can get some peace and provide for my babies

Got a stick in a bottle, I pretend I got a razor
Helicopters and cameras are shooting for the station
They say that a wild man is defending his lady
But for some odd reason, they calling you a painting

Say Mr.Officer, if you come to take her
(Officer)
Then that means one of us
Gonna end up in a stretcher say
Mr.Officer, if you come to take her
(Officer)
Then that means one of us
Gonna end up in a stretcher say

Mr.Officer, if you come to take her
(Officer)
Then that means one of us
Gonna end up in a stretcher say
Mr.Officer, if you come to take her
(Officer)
Then that means one of us
Gonna end up in a stretcher say

Mr.Officer, if you come to take her
(Officer)
Then that means one of us
Gonna end up in a stretcher say
Mr.Officer, if you come to take her
(Officer)
Then that means one of us
Gonna end up in a stretcher say

© COPE MUSIC; EMI APRIL MUSIC INC.