"...they always remember you, whether things are good or bad, it's just the memories..." -- Mos Def from "Travellin' Man"
i remember one of the first times i heard this song. my old friend, badru, introduced me to it and it stuck with me instantly for a couple of reasons. first was the fact the song was dope. second was the hook, which i mostly covered in the subject line and intro. and lastly because the name of the song was "travellin' man". they spelled traveler in the british way with two "l's". my email handle i was using at the time made the same "mistake".
i only mention any of this because my memory serves to both haunt and inspire me. i'll save you the psycho babble about my past experiences and how much they've traumatized me. instead we'll focus our efforts today on the different women i've loved. and when i say "loved" i mean as in i've been in a relationship with, not the ones i simply shared a bed with.
i realize the main reason i've been feeling all nostalgic with regards to love is because it is presently lacking in my life. simply put, there's no one i'm interested in right now. i mean, there are pipe dreams (sarcastically "scarlett johansson anyone?") and then there is reality, and my reality is pretty much booboo. i have done nothing to put myself out there in order to meet somebody. i've pretty much done all i could to diminish my confidence and there's little i can imagine doing to bring it back. pathetic, i know, and you're just reading about it.
anyway, my point is that i'm fortunate enough to even have a love, let alone three, to remember. that's it folks. only three women have been able to penetrate the powerful force field which guards my heart. granted, i dont make it difficult, i just have standards. i also think i've managed to do alright for my self with regards to love. i've lived a lot of my life chasing it and trying to hold on to it, and now that i presently find myself without hope, i find it very strange that i should be resorting to love as a conversation topic. no, i dont think it's normal either.
argh!
on the bright side, i managed to purchase two suits and four ties for $125. i bought some accessories to jazz up the suit and it raised the price to about $250, including tax, which i believe is money well spent. hell, i even got a new pair of stacy adams, how about that?! oh, to shop at hilltop mall, it's so much fun, especially when financial aid is paying for everything. i can hear my mother now: at least i spent the money on something that will last me a while.
it must be noted, i am currently "chunky". thus, when i reduce my weight and get back to being slim, the suits i bought will look even better on me. it's just going to take about 3-5 months of rigorous exercise to get down to my "boxing weight" again. i have confidence i am capable of completing this task, i'm just iffy on the effort at the moment.
then the nigga dave and i just drove around being socially malcontent deviants. well, not really, but you get the point. we did the damn thang and made it happen at his house. we shot a bunch of zombies, as usual, and i came home because i want to be up early for school tomorrow.
oh, and i didnt even tell you about the sick as giants jacket i bought today. it's reversible! damn it, why am i spilling my beans on here? wasnt i going to use this time to write down something constructive, something i could look back on with pride? fuck it. at this point i'm just practicing putting down my thoughts into words. i'll let you guys figure out the purpose of the blog. my job is to write, ha ha ha.
thanks to all who read todays nonsense. i hope it made you laugh, if even for a moment...
edwin
i remember one of the first times i heard this song. my old friend, badru, introduced me to it and it stuck with me instantly for a couple of reasons. first was the fact the song was dope. second was the hook, which i mostly covered in the subject line and intro. and lastly because the name of the song was "travellin' man". they spelled traveler in the british way with two "l's". my email handle i was using at the time made the same "mistake".
i only mention any of this because my memory serves to both haunt and inspire me. i'll save you the psycho babble about my past experiences and how much they've traumatized me. instead we'll focus our efforts today on the different women i've loved. and when i say "loved" i mean as in i've been in a relationship with, not the ones i simply shared a bed with.
i realize the main reason i've been feeling all nostalgic with regards to love is because it is presently lacking in my life. simply put, there's no one i'm interested in right now. i mean, there are pipe dreams (sarcastically "scarlett johansson anyone?") and then there is reality, and my reality is pretty much booboo. i have done nothing to put myself out there in order to meet somebody. i've pretty much done all i could to diminish my confidence and there's little i can imagine doing to bring it back. pathetic, i know, and you're just reading about it.
anyway, my point is that i'm fortunate enough to even have a love, let alone three, to remember. that's it folks. only three women have been able to penetrate the powerful force field which guards my heart. granted, i dont make it difficult, i just have standards. i also think i've managed to do alright for my self with regards to love. i've lived a lot of my life chasing it and trying to hold on to it, and now that i presently find myself without hope, i find it very strange that i should be resorting to love as a conversation topic. no, i dont think it's normal either.
argh!
on the bright side, i managed to purchase two suits and four ties for $125. i bought some accessories to jazz up the suit and it raised the price to about $250, including tax, which i believe is money well spent. hell, i even got a new pair of stacy adams, how about that?! oh, to shop at hilltop mall, it's so much fun, especially when financial aid is paying for everything. i can hear my mother now: at least i spent the money on something that will last me a while.
it must be noted, i am currently "chunky". thus, when i reduce my weight and get back to being slim, the suits i bought will look even better on me. it's just going to take about 3-5 months of rigorous exercise to get down to my "boxing weight" again. i have confidence i am capable of completing this task, i'm just iffy on the effort at the moment.
then the nigga dave and i just drove around being socially malcontent deviants. well, not really, but you get the point. we did the damn thang and made it happen at his house. we shot a bunch of zombies, as usual, and i came home because i want to be up early for school tomorrow.
oh, and i didnt even tell you about the sick as giants jacket i bought today. it's reversible! damn it, why am i spilling my beans on here? wasnt i going to use this time to write down something constructive, something i could look back on with pride? fuck it. at this point i'm just practicing putting down my thoughts into words. i'll let you guys figure out the purpose of the blog. my job is to write, ha ha ha.
thanks to all who read todays nonsense. i hope it made you laugh, if even for a moment...
edwin
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