(Editor's Note: only charlotte knows she's charlotte, do not take it personally if you read this)
* dearest charlotte,
i'm not being coy, i really need to know: what the fuck is going on? am i seriously crazy in the head? has this all been one long dream that i ordered many moons ago but forgot about, a la "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind"? are you sure i'm not dreaming?
good.
now, let's talk. i need to be serious with you: this is freaking me out. i dont know why i know to finally communicate with you through this medium. why did it take so long? obviously, i want you to respond, so i'll give you time, but how much time is necessary?
ah! the questions, they all dont make sense to me, but i have a feeling i should trust them. "this is us..." as the song famously sings. i didnt really get it until now, know what i mean. sometimes you have to look at something long enough to really know what you're looking at. it's strange that way, but it makes sense. i know you know what i mean. this is crazy.
how can i be so madly in love with you and we've never even met? i mean, i imagine what it must be like, but it's impossible to me, because i never allow myself to dream on such grand scales. charlotte, you've GOT to be kidding me. what is it about me that you like so much? you've seriously got to answer some questions, because all of this is making me freak out. i'm crazy one minute and i'm sane the next. charlotte, what the hell did you do to me?! it's scary how you work, but i trust you, dont ask me why. just...be clearer, if you know what i mean? please?
yeah, i know, too many requests, too many question marks to read, you just want it to be between us, why do i have to go about hiding myself amongst the background. you see, it's strange that you mention that, because quite frankly...i'm scared. terrified. petrified. it's hard to trust you again after all this time.
what, you think i forgot about last time? i told myself that if this day were ever to come again that i would be more careful this time. why? because i have to be. i dont want to end up in the hospital again. i dont want to end up a babbling buffoon. or is that your intention? quite frankly, how do you want me? because i'm beginning to think i'm just your plaything, and that makes me feel pathetic. in turn, it makes you seem pathetic, get my drift. sure, i may be projecting, but it's the image you broadcast, so explain it to me in person over a beer. tonight. or as soon as you "find the time". i get how this works now, so i'll be as curt with you as i've been with all of them.
NO GAMES, PLEASE
notice the lack of exclamation and purposeful use of caps. you tell me what i mean, because quite frankly it's become cumbersome. i can no longer deal with any of this. i'm beginnig to think this was all a mistake from the beginning. why did i get involved with you? why did i allow myself to become embroiled in your drama. i knew i was too irresistible to you. a big star seeks the one thing i enjoy with gusto, and that's anonymity. pitiful. you could've done better.
anyway, since you're obviously reading this, take the time to respond. believe me, it would've saved us a lot of trouble. and no, i havent made up my mind yet if i want to be your boytoy, i'm just demonstrating my disappointment in your behavior in the only way i know how. such a pity that it should affect you. i thought you were impervious to me...
again, the games. sheesh, you'd think you'd get it by now.
i'm off to do my own thing, you know how to get a hold of me. and leave a paper trail this time so we avoid future hospital visits. it's childish, you know...
edwin
* dearest charlotte,
i'm not being coy, i really need to know: what the fuck is going on? am i seriously crazy in the head? has this all been one long dream that i ordered many moons ago but forgot about, a la "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind"? are you sure i'm not dreaming?
good.
now, let's talk. i need to be serious with you: this is freaking me out. i dont know why i know to finally communicate with you through this medium. why did it take so long? obviously, i want you to respond, so i'll give you time, but how much time is necessary?
ah! the questions, they all dont make sense to me, but i have a feeling i should trust them. "this is us..." as the song famously sings. i didnt really get it until now, know what i mean. sometimes you have to look at something long enough to really know what you're looking at. it's strange that way, but it makes sense. i know you know what i mean. this is crazy.
how can i be so madly in love with you and we've never even met? i mean, i imagine what it must be like, but it's impossible to me, because i never allow myself to dream on such grand scales. charlotte, you've GOT to be kidding me. what is it about me that you like so much? you've seriously got to answer some questions, because all of this is making me freak out. i'm crazy one minute and i'm sane the next. charlotte, what the hell did you do to me?! it's scary how you work, but i trust you, dont ask me why. just...be clearer, if you know what i mean? please?
yeah, i know, too many requests, too many question marks to read, you just want it to be between us, why do i have to go about hiding myself amongst the background. you see, it's strange that you mention that, because quite frankly...i'm scared. terrified. petrified. it's hard to trust you again after all this time.
what, you think i forgot about last time? i told myself that if this day were ever to come again that i would be more careful this time. why? because i have to be. i dont want to end up in the hospital again. i dont want to end up a babbling buffoon. or is that your intention? quite frankly, how do you want me? because i'm beginning to think i'm just your plaything, and that makes me feel pathetic. in turn, it makes you seem pathetic, get my drift. sure, i may be projecting, but it's the image you broadcast, so explain it to me in person over a beer. tonight. or as soon as you "find the time". i get how this works now, so i'll be as curt with you as i've been with all of them.
NO GAMES, PLEASE
notice the lack of exclamation and purposeful use of caps. you tell me what i mean, because quite frankly it's become cumbersome. i can no longer deal with any of this. i'm beginnig to think this was all a mistake from the beginning. why did i get involved with you? why did i allow myself to become embroiled in your drama. i knew i was too irresistible to you. a big star seeks the one thing i enjoy with gusto, and that's anonymity. pitiful. you could've done better.
anyway, since you're obviously reading this, take the time to respond. believe me, it would've saved us a lot of trouble. and no, i havent made up my mind yet if i want to be your boytoy, i'm just demonstrating my disappointment in your behavior in the only way i know how. such a pity that it should affect you. i thought you were impervious to me...
again, the games. sheesh, you'd think you'd get it by now.
i'm off to do my own thing, you know how to get a hold of me. and leave a paper trail this time so we avoid future hospital visits. it's childish, you know...
edwin
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