pick a name and stick to it. in this example i am prometheus, because i made fire out of charcoal last night and cooked the meat people prepared to feed our group of people. just the least i could do since i didnt have $5 last night to donate to the cause. thanks to my cousin nancy for getting me out of the house, i HELLA needed it.
been having a helluva time lately shaking this funk, because every thing reminds about her and all i want is to see her but she wont come to me. typical actress, ha ha ha. i was looking forward to yesterday all week because i knew it was going to be a fun day. i was looking forward to the fight and to barbecuing, because i love to grill. i just have to practice cooking the different meats people give me, because i've got the making fire part down to an art form. it's easy when you know what you're doing.
when i showed up to my cousin nancy's i knew she was sweating me for the $5 donation, but i didnt know how to tell her i didnt have it, other than to just do every thing she asked of me, and i knew she wanted me to cook. so i was excited when the charcoal was brought by her room mate maria (a super sexy and intelligent woman; i'm lucky to be her friend) and i could finally start working on my masterpiece. she brought her friends katina (another sexy and intelligent woman; i am so blessed in this world) and howard, both of whom provided for the party in different ways. i got to work immediately trying to prepare the fire (it just takes time and effort, like anything else), which is when i was told the countdown to the fight had begun.
going in, i expected something like this. i knew i wasnt going to be able to watch the fight, because i would be making food, but i didnt complain. i got a phone call from my home girl, beatrice, while i was cooking and i just took it in stride. i talked with her for some time, she was getting some beef off her chest about how some boy is fucking with her, and i'm like "dont worry girl, you know you can always call me, day or night, and i'll always be available; i got you!" and she was like "that's why i love you" and i was like "yeah, girl, i love you, too; i'm your dawg!"
it was hella fun, i'm not going to lie. i was being the grill master, people were bringing me things to make sure i was alright, so i didnt feel forgotten, and none of the food got burnt. and i could hear everyone getting excited about the punching on tv (silly people getting excited about a fight, ha ha ha; it's a metaphor for life, folks) but i was too busy thinking about my friends (cooking, on the phone) to go inside and see what all of the commotion was about. that's how much i love the world, people. i deny myself the basic pleasure others enjoy because it truly makes me happy to serve the world. in this case it was meat which was a little chewy but full of flavor. like i said, i'm working on my technique and if i get invited to more barbecues i'll go. just dont ask me to pay for nothing, because i'm the guest of honor: i'll make your fire and feed you if you send someone to pick me up from my house.
i saw some of the recap and mosley had mayweather, but mayweather was acting like little punk not taking punches while he was throwing his elbows. almost made me wish i could do something to make mayweather be quiet so he can pacquiao next; a truly great opponent of whom mayweather is scared. let's just admit that pretty boy floyd is not man enough to keep his mouth shut and take an ass whooping. that's pacquiao's style: dont fuck with me until we get into the ring. dont talk shit until we get into the ring. dont even think about offending me, because i dont fight for the money; i give my shit away to the people. for whom does pacquiao fight? the people, which is why he is beloved in his native philippines.
it's also a corollary for why latinos, and other people, in general like me. it's why my name is edwin and why i'm good at parties. i always tell folks, "with me, you just have to add people; i'm great at parties." maybe i'll start billing my self to my friends that way. "hey, you want to have a good time? okay, let me do all of the talking but you have to pay for what little i'll ask from you? got it? okay, what do you want to do first?"
i swear i can get anyone laid, if they're just willing to relax and take my advice. but the arrogant people who say "if you're so good, why do you go home alone at the end of the night" and i say "well, that's because the trick is that every one is scared shitless to ask me for what they're thinking about." every one is thinking about sex, and stress is manifested in different forms, but it all revolves around your sex life. when you're getting laid well consistently you will appear to be the calmest person in the world. well, if i tell every one that i dont have sex because i havent found the right woman and i'm waiting for her to find me, how come women have an easier time talking with me but never ask me if i want a blow job, or something.
i love it, the friend role. no, i mean it, no sarcasm intended. women all want a man they can talk to until the right man comes along whom they will want to fuck. because women are scared of friendship because they think it will lead to heartbreak. honestly, people, men have the same fears. you see, i dont see genders, because i refuse my typical gender role. i am the "social butterfly" and i must "flap my wings" in order for you to see the "buttefly effect". it's why bee's are important; they inadvertantly pollinate all of the flower. i go from flower to flower sucking sweet nectar and women dont even know the gift they give me. i just love being around women because they smell hella good. that's how i know i'm not gay, because i spent a lot of time being bi-curious. well, i learned that i'm not man enough to take a dick up the ass; so i applaud all gay men who basically tell the world they ARE man enough.
my friend, erick, taught me that. i listen to everybody, but sometimes it feels like no one listens to me. that's why i talk to my self in the shower, because water makes me happy. water is the elixir to life and it is the key to every thing, but once you learn to make it you'll learn you dont have to eat or drink any thing ever again. you will learn to deny your self all of the pleasures people take for granted, and you will be the happiest man on earth. i was basically practicing proving einstein but the truth is it requires no effort. it takes a lot of work to think all day, which is what philosophers do. we ask questions because we want people to confirm what we're thinking about. philosophers live the duality of teacher and student, because we're always learning and then teaching.
my greatest trick is that i've learned how to make people happy; how to keep people always laughing, and it's an invaluable trick, but i hate asking for money in return, because then people think you only do things for money. it's why i need an agent, but i havent found the right person, so in the mean time i have to practice negotiating money since it's the one thing i hate which i never learned to control. it figured that i would think i had all of the details of my life in order but then i'd forget i had "one more thing" to do before i could be happy. story of my life, i swear, ha ha ha. there's always "one more thing" but it's just a metaphor for "i want to do it all."
i have so much energy it scares others. i spent 11 days in the hospital being treated like a crazy person while my life was wasting away. typical; story of my life. when i dont get to be in control of my life it all goes to hell. *shrugs* i love cleaning up the messes other people make, which is why i worked for 15 months as a house cleaner, and i loved it when people would say "what cleaning product do you use, because it always smells so clean" and i now have the answer: it's just love.
i heard somewhere that all you really need to keep things clean is a little water. i believe it, but advertising companies want you to believe you need scents. man, add water with some flowers in it and BAM! you have scented water which will nourish your environment. i swear, people, from now on you can all believe i'm crazy, because i know i'm not. daily showers are unnecessary because you're ridding your self of your essential smells, but it is socailly acceptable to "smell clean". women hate it when i smell them after they sweat. oh, how i love to smell a sweaty woman; she's sweated out all of the bad stuf and i can smell her natural smell. women wonder how i do it. he he he, i'm the devil. my sense of smell is amazing. oh wait, i mean, i'm manic and it heightens my senses.
anyway, this post is long enough and i'm rambling again. i enabled the ads because i'm hoping to receive a check from the people in charge of them. do me a favor and please link my blog if you are reading this. tell all of your friends about me. i have a feeling this is just the beginning of something very big, and special privileges will be paid to the people who "buy" now. be able to say that you knew me before i blew up. help a struggling artist pay his bills. if you enjoy musings, tell your friends about me; i guarantee you they're going to love me, because you already do!
i love you guys and girls. i think about my friends all day and it makes me happy. i just wish my family understood this. since they say that all they want is to see me happy, i believe someday this will come to pass. this, my friends, is my example of confidence. it's just confidence, that's how you can do anything, like stand-up comedy. i just have to clear up the obstacles which were created from my time in the hospital, and all that it requires is time. but wait, i have all of the time in the world, because no one possesses it. einstein proved that, and i'm proving einstein. it's how you become a time traveller (the british spelling; a joke i wrote for my self). england reminds me of my friend nadiya, whom i considered my "wife" until she sent me an email she doesnt share the romantic feeling. but i'm crazy to believe she wants me to love scarlett johansson, because i'm crazy about her, but i've never met her, so how come i feel like i can communicate with her telepathically?
ESP is real, remember? my friend michelle, whom i met at langley-porter, said to me "you're the first delusional person i've ever met with whom i've spoken to that makes sense". she is a psych major. psychiatrists hate me because they can't find the holes to my logic. it's all a basic game they play, which, i hate games.
if you want to know people just ask them how they spend their time. simple: how much time do you spend making your self happy? what makes you happy? done and done 1) i spend all day making my self happy. 2) thinking about the world and my life in it makes me happy. all i'm asking of this existence is for somebody to tell me where i fit in. if you have any leads, let a brotha know.
holla at your boy!!! 415-828-6266, only receiving calls right now, can't make any.
edwin
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