another release from the hospital must be commemorated...

*sigh*

  so i tried going back to the address and i ended up in the hospital, but not without a good story first. honestly, i'm tired and just want to go to bed right now, but i felt it would be important to write something down to commemorate the fact i was indeed released from SF General Hospital again today.

  a friend i met inside convinced me it's okay to go back, but i'm not sure when that will be. i'm hurt, i'm tired, and i'm kind of sick of all of the games. things are happening to alter my reality and i'm not certain what to make of them. it is frankly something i have to get a handle on, and it's something i can no longer avoid.

  damn it, it wasnt a good idea to write tonight, especially not after i took my medication. it's frustrating, people, to be who i am, but it almost feels unfair to complain. i'm definitely feeling some strong emotions right now, and they're not intended to be destructive or offensive, but they are real. it's so hard to love something so passionately and only get disappointment in return. what are my options? masochism is a bitch.

  all i will say is that i hope i feel better in the morning, because i was looking forward to getting discharged from the hospital all day that when it finally happened it felt like a letdown because it didnt go the way i wanted it to. if they say i can go back i will, just not any time soon, because i am seriously all out of options at the moment until something concrete is given to me which can help me to convince a ride to make the trip.

  nah, that'll never happen, or will it? is it so much to ask for a miracle? apparently so...

edwin