end of the month, the countdown begins...

  for those who dont know: my birfday (yes, i say birfday, not birthday) is august 1st. this means that beginning tomorrow the "official" countdown to my birfday begins. i get a whole month to figure out who i want to take to the ballgame that day versus the dodgers. i may even put up a call out on facebook to have someone help.

  the month of june wasnt particularly bad, and i'm happy to report i'm closer to achieving my goal of getting my cell phone back, especially since i have now accomplished getting my car back on the road. for all of the strange things that have happened to me these past couple of months, i'm glad that i've slowly mananged to put all of the pieces back together. once i get my phone back i can begin looking for a job, or at least i can begin texting friends and calling up acquaintances to better my relationships with them. in any case, i've got some good things to look forward to in the upcoming months.

  i made the decision that i will be going back to school in the fall, in spite of how poorly this past semester went, due to the nonsense of chasing "scarlett johansson" and my confusion over ESP and everything. in truth, i need to focus on my self, and after certain revelations and discoveries, i'm excited to finally be placing my self at the top of the totem pole. i think that in my search for greater answers i forgot that simply being my self and loving my self was the most important thing. not that i was trying to change my self for someone else, but more like i was hoping for an escape that was never there. and if it ever was, it seems to have disappeared.

  but that's now all behind me. i want to have the basic things i miss, and soon i will have them. since i'm officially registered for classes i will be getting 25% of my overall financial aid before my birfday and the rest will be given to me during the month of september, if i'm not mistaken. either way, it's some money in my pocket which i can look forward to.

  i also got recent news that an old friend will be moving back to our beloved city, which means i'll have another playmate with whom to get into good kinds of trouble. you've got to love how social networking sites now make it possible for us to remain in touch with old friends from all levels of education we have completed and attended. i'm just happy old friends remember me and wish to continue to keep me in their network, even if it's just an online network. truth be told, i enjoy not socializing too much right now, but i will look forward to being able to go out again, especially in order to meet new friends.

  i dont have much to share, but i've been contemplating a lot of things and enjoying the mental progress i've been making these past few weeks. things are going better with my folks and even though they're not perfect, i'm happy, which is what matters most. the main thing i'm happy is that i'm feeling more and more like my "old" self under my current medication, which is something that is of absolute importance to me. i want to feel goofy. i want to feel funny. i want to feel like the outgoing kid that i've always been.

  i think a part of my depression and sadness i've been feeling has been due to a lack of a true social life, and once i get my cell phone replaced next week things should get better. i'll be able to communicate with friends and stay in the social loop which i've fallen out of these past couple of weeks. not to mention, i'll have a certain sense of liberty which comes with having mobile access to others 24hrs a day. i think once i am back in school i will be completely happy because i'll at least have the opportunity to make new friends, and i'll also be able to maintain some of the old friendships i've established.

  anyway...that's about all i care to share for the evening. it's time for bed since it's already getting late and i dont want to sleep too much tomorrow...

edwin