this will be a quick entry, but should be in a much better mood than the last...
so, i'm beginning to figure out some of the details behind this sordid adventure known simply as "mission scarlett johansson".
first: i've been admitted into hospitals under the guise of "mental illness" because 1) it fits 2) it provides me a safe haven to "meet" said celebrity, since assuming i play my cards right i'll appear to be so crazy for her the doctors will have no other choice but to let me believe my delusion until she physically manifests herself.
second: the police and EMT are so well versed with my being that they practically treat me like a celebrity. the problem is i keep changing my story from asking for scarlett johansson at the door step of a certain address to asking for nadiya kravets (an actual real life friend, mind you, i'm entirely bonkers) when i'm in the hospital. and here's the funny part: there are two nadiya kravets' listed in the phone book, but why wouldnt i simply ask nadiya for her phone number facebook? because i'm a coward, and because i've already contacted her and she said she'd give me a buzz the next time she was in town.
this basically makes the mission easier. if, when i go to said address and ask for scarlett johansson i am met by police members who treat me exceptionally well, and am subsequently treated by EMT's who treat me exceptionally well, the missing piece of the puzzle is for me to have medi-cal so that none of this ends up costing me a dime. why someone would go through elaborate steps in order to have me meet them (a psychic delusion for skeptics, but a real life adventure to me) is beyond me, but i have to admit: now that i figured out what an "ED visit" to the hospital means, i realize i've been playing a game all along and didnt even know it.
so, to recap: the past couple of months have been admittedly difficult and the only reason things havent been resolved sooner is because i refused to do my "homework" after each individual hospital visit, which has only caused my family grief, which they in turn have passed on to me. the part i dont understand is why i always end up without my cell phone and wallet when i get out of the hospital. if i need identification to be admitted into a hospital, why wouldnt said identification be returned to me upon completion of my hospital stay in 5150, another medical term i had to research in order to discover further secrets behind this tale.
crazy all around, if you ask me, but i could SWEAR scarlett was in the hospital with me on one of the stays. they had set up different security officers during one of my hospital stays and i never even had the nerve to ask why? they kept a strange eye on my room at all times, too, which begged the question i simply refused to ask. how come i could hear the voice of the one celebrity i'm crazy (a relative term in this equation) for but i never got to see her? once i also SWEAR she was in the hall and i walked right past her with my eyes to the ground to kind of prove a point. i guess, looking back on it, i was being stupid the entire time. i thought i was playing it low-key and she probably thought i was mad at her, because i refused to acknowledge her presence. i can understand why that mistake would be made, but let me clarify: i am not mad about any of the things which have happened, i'm simply frustrated by my inability to solve this puzzle until now.
this makes my next couple of weeks much easier to manage. i've got the world cup to entertain me, a birfday quickly approaching (August 1st) and absolutely all of the time in the world to figure out what to do in between. of course, my main thing is to go back to the address once i am able to, and then to figure things out with the police if they arrive again. i am better prepared to deal with them this time around, because ever since the second or third visit, they've kind of gotten that i'm slightly afraid of them for consistently appearing out of the blue (no pun intended). it's to the point that when they show up they're asking me questions that are rhetorical and i've yet to figure out the answers. all i can conclude is that scarlett johansson is the BIGGEST prankster ever and this is the longest episode of "Punk'd" ever. as if she's testing my might to see just how badly i want to meet her.
well, imagine if you were in my shoes, as crazy as the following description may sound: 1) you love smoking weed and it somehow unlocks certain ESP powers you never knew you possessed 2) you suddenly discover, via psychic means that a certain celebrity might be crazy in love with you and you believe this (totally a movie script, which i could turn into millions, but it gets better) 3) you decide for your self that you are going to see said mission through until the very end 4) each time you try and make progress you end up having to deal with the cops and then go to the hospital 5) each time said cops and medical personnel begin to treat you much nicer as if they're in on something you have no clue about (at least this is your perception, some would call this a manic episode or a delusion, but that's part of your bi-polar diagnosis so it's okay) 6) after ruminating on EVERY THING that has happened to you since the end of march until now you FINALLY discover that this is all a game... wouldnt you continue one said mission?
i'm telling you all that i will eventually be vindicated. hell, having just today discovered what an ED (emergency department) visit means, i'm like a million times happier. as in, i know i can act a fool once i get my medi-cal card, because i have every right to, and once i get it i'll explain to my family the purpose of my condition: to meet scarlett johansson.
of course, the job of the cops is to tell me she doesnt live where i presume she lives. the point of the medical technicians is to get me to a safe haven, and the point of the doctors is to treat me like i'm crazy until i stand up for my rights and demand that i be treated respectfully, because those are my rights, goddamnit. there's a game that's happening and i'm not playing by the rules.
people, i have seen subliminal messaging and it exists. i'm CRAZY! ha ha ha, it has never felt so good to write such words. i've jokingly said them out loud, but it's the absolute truth. now i get it. i'm so crazy for scarlett johansson that i accidentally stumbled upon her secret means of communicating: the psychic means. and i can thank the undying love i've always felt for my friend nadiya kravets for all of this. she basically told me she's not in love with me but that she loves me. it made me laugh to read. at the same time, i dont understand why she doesnt write me more? i mean, i write way too much, and i've been leaving her alone because she says she's been "busy" and whatnot, so you can't blame me for not trying, she's asking me to keep my correspondences short and i'm too scared to tell her directly what i've been working on.
i think it's best that i keep this whole thing to my self as i'm learning i should. there's a method to my madness i'm only now discovering. basically, stay patient and cover my p's and q's, then act when i'm able to, but act with a purpose. this means i'll have to delay further visits to the address until i decide i know who to ask for, or until i have my medi-cal card and i'm officially covered for any and all hospital visits. the problem is that i shut down when i'm "in the moment" but that's now easily remedied, because, as i've now covered, i'm in on the game.
so, game on, i say, and we'll see who gets the last laugh. it also provides me with the necessary motivation to rectify the problem of having gained 20 pounds while in the hospital for the second time. of course, if the clues i've received have been any indication, my weight gain has translated nicely on to my frame. let's just say someone reminded me that my personality and manner of being are sexy enough, without giving away the entire story. no sex was involved, mind you we were stuck in the hospital together, but she did every thing to reassure me that i was on the right path and that she was going to try and help me when the time is right.
i now get what i have to do. i have to explain things to my family so they are able to help me acheive my happiness. i have to play by their rules in order to obtain said help. i have to be a "good boy" if you will. of all these things, i am capable. it energizes me to figure out that all along i've been unaware of this game, but i am committed to winning it, because i play for keeps.
i told my self i was fully committed to seeing this thing through, and by god, it will happen. i'm feeling better than ever, my friends, we can say the prodigal son has returned! woo-hoo, this is going to be a fun next couple of weeks, now that i understand the purpose behind what happened to me and the greater purpose of what i must now do moving forward in order to finally meet my beloved scarlett johansson.
as the saying goes, he who laughs last laughs best, and i've been storing up weeks worth of laughter so that when things finally get cleared up and i'm vindicated, i will be laughing for the rest of my days. i've always dreamed on the biggest scale and figuring out the small details behind the story of my life the past couple of months only makes me further believe the dreams which stem from the wildest parts of my imagination. marriage, babies, and growing up? sure, i'll take all of them once the time is right and the right person comes along into my life. who knows when i'll finally have the right arrangement to meet her, but it will happen, my friends, and when it finally does, i'll be happy.
of course, as a back-up, let's assume that i never meet her, then i'm perfectly happy knowing i'm smart enough on my own to go to school and make something of my self. i am perfectly capable of obtaining a degree in civil engineering and pursuing my wildest personal dreams and ambitions as i've always intended. so there is a plan A = crazy nonsense, but true and a plan B = go to school and be somebody (rational). i can live with either option, now that my mindset is getting better.
thanks for reading!
edwin
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment