* thanks to all who expressed their concern over my last post. i didnt intend to disappoint anyone, my self included, but i felt it was the right thing to do. i'm glad i shared with you the stupidity of my actions, if only to remind you, and my self, that i am only human. i realize now that not only do i have plenty to live for, it would be a shame if i left just yet. there's plenty of hell i have left to raise, plenty of joints i have yet to smoke, and too many beautiful women who will possibly compete for my attention once i FINALLY begin doing the comedy tip real big.
in the meantime, i'm reminding my self that i have to take it one day at a time, but that everything will turn out alright. i have all the tools i need to be successful, and am currently enrolled in school to acquire more tools to broaden my horizons in the future. needless to say, it was a VERY stupid thing i attempted, and that i'm glad was unsuccessful, though in hindsight, i have to admit i came pretty damn close. if i hadnt reacted by lifting my head and puking my guts out, i would have likely ended up choking on my own vomit. i can't think of a more disgusting, and avoidable, way to die, ha ha ha.
* mother's day came and went and with it any remaining "love" i feel for my mom. i wont go into too many details here, but i've basically reached my wits end with regards to caring for her. she doesnt need me to do squat for her, and i intend to prove to her that i CAN and WILL have success in my life raising crops, regardless of what they think about it. every day that i continue to live under their roof is one less day i am living my personal dream, and since they've already been informed of the money-making potential of said venture, they're purposely keeping me from realizing my humble dreams. not that it matters, because i'm going to do everything i can to find a job in order to move out as soon as possible. i have an idea of what i'd like to do with my life, and since i am a legal patient there is nothing to keep me from pursuing my humble dreams.
i just wish my family had a better understanding of what i deal with inside my head on a daily basis, but their lack of support only serves to motivate me. i dont need anybody, i only ask certain people to be a part of my life. and that's all it is, is an invitation. i'm confident that i will find the happiness i crave on my own, just as i usually have in the past. it's just a little sad to have to reach certain realizations on your own, especially when your whole life people spend their time telling you they'll always be there for you, and other terrible lies. it's very pathetic to have to accept people for who they really are, in spite of their words.
* the pacquiao vs mosley fight was a huge letdown, but only because mosley wouldnt let pacquiao hit him more. can't say that i blame him, but he could've taken more of a beating for the millions he was certainly paid. it would've made for better television than what was shown. instead, we all had to hope anxiously that pacquiao would connect more on any of the multiple combinations he landed all night. mosley had a solid career, and at times i found my self cheering for him, but his final fight was nothing to see. i guess i'm glad it's not my money that was spent this weekend buying said fight. then again, i'm glad i got to watch it, regardless of how it turned out.
* i'm focusing on being more concise and to the point with my blogs, so with that i'm off to do whatever the hell i was doing before i decided to write this blog. gotta keep up the job search and hope that i get a call for an interview real soon. wish me luck!
edwin
in the meantime, i'm reminding my self that i have to take it one day at a time, but that everything will turn out alright. i have all the tools i need to be successful, and am currently enrolled in school to acquire more tools to broaden my horizons in the future. needless to say, it was a VERY stupid thing i attempted, and that i'm glad was unsuccessful, though in hindsight, i have to admit i came pretty damn close. if i hadnt reacted by lifting my head and puking my guts out, i would have likely ended up choking on my own vomit. i can't think of a more disgusting, and avoidable, way to die, ha ha ha.
* mother's day came and went and with it any remaining "love" i feel for my mom. i wont go into too many details here, but i've basically reached my wits end with regards to caring for her. she doesnt need me to do squat for her, and i intend to prove to her that i CAN and WILL have success in my life raising crops, regardless of what they think about it. every day that i continue to live under their roof is one less day i am living my personal dream, and since they've already been informed of the money-making potential of said venture, they're purposely keeping me from realizing my humble dreams. not that it matters, because i'm going to do everything i can to find a job in order to move out as soon as possible. i have an idea of what i'd like to do with my life, and since i am a legal patient there is nothing to keep me from pursuing my humble dreams.
i just wish my family had a better understanding of what i deal with inside my head on a daily basis, but their lack of support only serves to motivate me. i dont need anybody, i only ask certain people to be a part of my life. and that's all it is, is an invitation. i'm confident that i will find the happiness i crave on my own, just as i usually have in the past. it's just a little sad to have to reach certain realizations on your own, especially when your whole life people spend their time telling you they'll always be there for you, and other terrible lies. it's very pathetic to have to accept people for who they really are, in spite of their words.
* the pacquiao vs mosley fight was a huge letdown, but only because mosley wouldnt let pacquiao hit him more. can't say that i blame him, but he could've taken more of a beating for the millions he was certainly paid. it would've made for better television than what was shown. instead, we all had to hope anxiously that pacquiao would connect more on any of the multiple combinations he landed all night. mosley had a solid career, and at times i found my self cheering for him, but his final fight was nothing to see. i guess i'm glad it's not my money that was spent this weekend buying said fight. then again, i'm glad i got to watch it, regardless of how it turned out.
* i'm focusing on being more concise and to the point with my blogs, so with that i'm off to do whatever the hell i was doing before i decided to write this blog. gotta keep up the job search and hope that i get a call for an interview real soon. wish me luck!
edwin
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