an ambitious first attempt at writing comedy...

* it's now July 30, 2018 11:07pm, and I'm going to try to write some jokes, as i listen to Drake's album "if you're reading this, it's too late".

I'll admit, I'm kind of distracted, but that's kind of the point of the music, you know, to get me to focus, like, on the jokes, ya dig?

* I'll just share some updates and make funny comments regarding my current situation.

i realize, I've sold enough weed to break even, ha ha ha, but not from my lifetime of smoking, just from what i invested initially.

my friend, Fe, copped a half zip today, and we met in our usual spot in front of City Hall, here in my beloved San Francisco. she's a sexy lady, but my intentions with her are strictly platonic, and i think that's a mutual sentiment, only, I'm not trying to find out, either way. we're both sexy enough that we embrace the loving/friendly embraces as old friends, and nothing more.

i never thought I'd get to this point in life, where I wasn't so horny to not flirt with an attractive girl. i think it's the erectile dysfunction kicking in and gripping my balls, quite literally, too. i don't jerk off like i used to, and I'm only about to be 35, which is the right age for ED to become a reality in my life. far be it from me to be proactive about the situation, it's not like I'm fucking my fiance on a consistent basis. this sucks!!! i think I'll mention it to my doctor when i see her on Friday.

* fuck the Giants, they're a shit show in the 2nd half, again. how did i not see this coming? add to that the fact that I'm essentially going to miss the playoffs in fantasy baseball, and that's enough reason for me to start doing fantasy football mock drafts. my birfday is in 25 hours, and i think I'll spend some of my cake day working on my draft strategy. I'm seriously trying to make money in fantasy football this year. the big dog's gotta eat!!!

* i realized, it's been almost 5 years since i was last in a looney bin, that's real progress.

and I'm still able to smoke as much weed as I desire, too!!! this isn't a joke, i give away weed to close friends and family. did y'all ever think that would ever come to pass? clearly, I'm making progress. even though my apartment is messy, it's not uninhabitable. I'm enjoying other drugs, too, and I'm finally able to enjoy my time alone within my sweet spot.

for example: i was supposed to do some shrooms tonight, but i decided I'd wait until tomorrow night. it's not like i don't have enough, it's just that it's kinda late and I'm kinda tired. my co-worker gave me around 9 grams, split unevenly into 2 bags, and i was kinda hoping to grind up a gram and then letting it soak in orange juice before drinking it, but, again, it's late, and yes, i actually have to be up at a decent hour tomorrow morning.

needless to say, tomorrow it's on like Donkey Kong!!!

* i just remembered the conversation i had with Fe about how when you're young, you give up pussy, for various reasons, but when you're older, you turn it down. like, if another girl flirts with me, I'm going to claim to be harassed, on my Mama!!!

ha ha ha, y'all know I'm just playing, issa joke!!!

but, yeah, that's true for me, I'm turning down pussy now, and I'm not even a real celebrity, I'm only famous in my mind. the truth is, the ED is real in my balls and penis. I'm going to get help, i promise, because i need at least 11 babies to make a national soccer team that'll qualify for the world cup in 20 years, like Croatia and France had this year. no, I'm serious, I'm going to talk to Flor and tell her this is my life's new purpose, ha ha ha.

*it's now 11:26pm and i think this post is long enough to publish and then share on social media. let's see how the newbs like the new content compared to the older content, ha ha ha...

finally felt like writing again...

*so it's been a rough week, to say the least, but thankfully, I'll get through the next couple of days.

i fucked up my car's engine and have to pay $2500 to fix it. that's a hard lesson learned, but thankfully I'm not counting on my parents for much help. they were very happy to know that i had enough money saved, but now that means i won't have enough to pay for my trip to El Salvador in December.

looks like I'll be getting paid this holiday season, but i won't get no pussy til the 10th of February at the soonest. I've gone longer times without sex, and this is for a good cause, so I'll be alright.

*I'm feeling like writing a comedy set of 3-5 minutes to perform sometime. it's a dream of mine to do standup and before the bipolar bullshit, i was seriously considering working on a routine. then, all went to hell and it's only until now that i have begun to feel like performing again.

I'm very glad the desire came back, because people have been asking me about my comedy. sure, i want to be offensive, but not in the same way as before. I'm not fully all back yet, but I'm more calm now that I've learned to deal with my disorder. that's something I'm grateful for.

*watched alianza lose in the final minutes of the concacaf league on YouTube. broke my heart because it was the last play of the game and costly scored an amazing goal to beat us. i see now that there's good soccer being played everywhere, but the fans in Honduras should be ashamed for their behavior. the fireworks were uncalled for.

we can argue all day whether the game should have been suspended or not, but the truth is alianza failed on their defense and they didn't attack much in the 2nd half. they were basically praying for the game to end, instead of forcing the issue all the way through.

oh well, at least now we can focus on the regular season and hopefully reach the finals again.

*it's good to be wanted, but i know where my heart lays. i made the choice to remain faithful to my fiancé and nobody is going to make me break that rule.

I'm glad to have my fiance in my life and i plan on marrying her whenever that is possible. we've come a long way and there is nobody that is going to stand in the way of our happiness. my mom is a hater, but she knows I'm serious when i say that i will marry Flor. everybody else is just there to support me or stay out of my way.

*my homeboy, Jonah, is coming over soon and we're going to smoke weed and chill. he's bringing Penny's dog, Lily, and she's very good here in my space.

last time he came he brought me food, which was nice of him, since i don't always eat fresh. maybe it wasn't the healthiest, but it was good; he brought me jack in the box.

it means a lot to have friends in my life that help to make sure i don't stay in bed for too many days in a row. my dad called me today, too, and it almost motivated me to do my laundry. alas, i just fell asleep again.

then, Jonathan came over after the alianza game and we talked about different things. we barely smoked. i told him i haven't been smoking that much weed lately and he said he was doing the same.

i think I just need more edibles, because smoking weed isn't getting me that high anymore. i know when i get to El Salvador, I'll be dying for the weed they have there, but that's 6 months away. so, I've gotta figure out what to do until then.

*I've got a busy day planned tomorrow, so i don't plan on staying up all night, but we'll see how long Jonah stays...