|\... am i right? sometimes, you've just got to roll with the punches and sit in a puddle of your own urine, until help arrives. or something to that effect. the point is, there isnt much that i can do to aid my search for pussy, nor am i winning any favors by not keeping up with my laundry habits. which reminds me, i need to wash these sheets, specifically the blankets with those new scented things i purchased and hopefully this crazy quack can diagnose why i keep waking up 7 times a night to urinate, ha haha. oh man, isnt it fun getting old while being on chronic medication? i'm telling you, the fun never stops, and i live alone, ha haha.
* thanks to the shelter in place order, and to the subsequent "exodus" out of san francisco, there havent been many chances to meet women lately. not that i'm not trying, but i'm tired of hoping and waiting and am anxiously awaiting my next call to action. needless to say, i'm forced to keep waiting for at least another 6 months, for better or for worse. begging the question: where the bitches at? no, seriously, i'll wait for the reports of where the majority of single women live in this city, because i cant seem to find them. or maybe, i just stink too good, as in my weed is too strong, and these anti cannabis mistresses have taken over my beloved City. either way, i'm fucked, but not in the way that i desire.
what's a man got to do to get noticed, anyway? now, it seems like i'm persona non grata, which wouldnt be so bad if i had someone in my corner with whom to enjoy being "the bad guy". nobody deserves to sleep and eat alone for as many consecutive nights as i have, especially not after the thousands of dollars i spent on getting legally extorted by my salvadorian ex, ha haha. only dumbasses sign up for long distance monogamous relationships, i dont care who gets upset by this.
* at least i'm not sleeping and living with an actual puddle in the middle of my apartment anymore. that's part of the byproduct of being a mental health patient with manic episodes. you tend to endure a little more thanks in part to what you overcome daily, or nightly, just to get a moment's rest. now that i'm fully back on my meds, it seems that my behavior has normalized enough that i can pretend to be "normal" long enough to warrant the attention i get. then, my mouth opens and i'm never sure what the fuck i'll say. normally, that's an endearing trait, but with a penchant for humiliating my self for no other reason than i'm perfectly allowed to, i'd say tread cautiously around me, and those are on my good days, ha haha. no, just be nice and i'll adjust accordingly once my energy drink kicks in.
anyway, so the 1st ex got a hold of me regarding some items she found from our time spent in high school. i figure they're worth the nostalgia factor alone, disregarding their current location. it's the origins i'm interested in, and 20 years worth of nostalgia has got to be worth the enduring B that i never quite felt comfortable with, a la Holden Caulfield hating the establishment for being phony.
my point is simple: all nostalgia is good nostalgia if you're totally removed emotionally from the situation. it just pisses me off that those fuckers took my sweater that my boy, Brian, gave me. Brian always had good weed to share with me, and when he passed away, i was gifted his 2014 emerald cup black hoodie. and those fuckers took it. i'll tell you, drinking that chlorine water was worth it if i can finally get that sweater back, but i'm fairly confident that i'll never be able to track it down now, especially not with how comfortable it was.
*it must be mentioned that i recently purchased this giant black speaker with cool lights on it that sounds great at night when i'm playing my sleep mixes. i'm telling you: it's a shame to live this well, ha haha. well, maybe not in the literal sense at the moment, but definitely for the potential of what could be, i definitely am better off with a more organized 2nd half, yadadamean? but, that's a problem to puzzle for another day. i'm getting hungry again, and i want a snack. good thing it's only an exchange i have to wake up for at 6:30am, ha haha, otherwise, i'd be in trouble.
needless to say, a bowl, or two, of cereal might be in order, just to keep the hunger demons at bay, because that cheesesteak wasnt big enough to satisfy my immense hunger. i should have gotten the tator tots from carl's jr...fuck!!! ha haha...
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